More than enough, my cup overflows

 

More than enough  

 My beloved husband has gone on a weekend getaway with his University of Illinois pals.  He is golfing, bonding and whatever else men do on their weekends away. As a result of his going away, I am responsible for my own meal planning. Before Joe left he wanted to go to the store and get some food for me so that I would have enough to eat. I said, no worries there is enough.  Joe left Thursday after work and my friend Susan Dirksen invited me to pick lettuce, spaghetti squash and tomatoes from her garden. So day one I had a yummy salad. For lunch the next day and yummy tomato sandwich and for dinner spaghetti squash.  Day 2 I started to scrounge the  freezer and to my delight found one lone hamburger that we must have saved when we made three and only ate two. So that was Friday with some more of the lettuce for a great fresh salad.   We have english muffins, we have fruit, we have cereal and so breakfast has been easy peasy.  Now today, my friend Sue Gill is bringing lunch for a social distancing backyard luncheon and I am sure there will be enough for leftovers. As my good fortune in friends continues, Diane invited Joan and me for lunch on Sunday.  So as I said to Joe,  no worries there is enough. I have enjoyed more than enough food, friends and love that my cup overflows. Please join me for leftovers. #givingwingstoyourdreams #mycuprunnethover

Savoring the Holy Eucharist

 Yesterday I was able to attend the 12 noon mass at St. Catherine's Catholic Church in Burlingame, CA. It has been a long time (7 months) for a daily mass due to the Covid restrictions. It was a beautiful mass led by our beloved Fr. John Ryan. Attending mass, being with with the "regular" 12 noon mass friends and receiving the Holy Eucharist is a great gift. My heart is still singing in this moment as I reflect on yesterday's mass. I lingered with the Holy Eucharist in my mouth like a passionate kiss from my lover. I savored with eyes closed the goodness of the Lord. We are blessed as Catholics/Christians to have the Holy Eucharist the embodiment of Christ Himself, given to us to feed us, heal us and remember Jesus. Do this in memory of me. What are we to remember that Jesus came to save, to serve, to forgive and to bring us life everlasting. What a gift to leave us...a way to be and to live.  With every remembrance of Christ we are called to follow, to become the hands, feet, heart, words, eyes and ears that feed,care, hear the cries of humanity and serve the needs for one another. Receiving holy communion refreshes my commitment to following the way of the Lord.  I savor the goodness of the Lord, knowing that the way of Christ is the way to great joy.What do you savor most in life? #givingwingstoyourdreams #holyeucharist #holycommunion #thewayofChrist

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Review, Refresh and Restart Goals

 As a lifelong goal setter, someone me who has practiced setting and achieving goals, I am reviewing how I am doing and I need to refresh and restart.  In review, not so good. I first see that my goals are less specific than usual. I am not sure if the not achieving my goals is due to lack of specificity or my own motivation or perhaps distractions from Covid 19 or other responsibilities that have crept into my life.  However, these are only excuses for not achieving what is possible.  Today, a new day, to begin again.  The goals I sent for 2020 are listed on this photo and built on a theme of "The Year of Optimal Health for soul, mind and body. I do have a spiritual life, especially this year. I cling to Jesus in every moment and my conversation is usually "help me!" I have my yoga practice which grounds me, connects me to my students even if only virtually and enables me, through the combination of movement and breathing to feed my body and soul with moments of connection, love and presence. I have really tried to drink more water, however, that seems to fall by the wayside. I have recently completed reading a wonderful book, The Book of Longings, by Sue Monk Kidd, an amazing story that I recommend to all.  Joe cooks healthy meals and I have been able to practice moderation...mostly.  Today, October 5, 2020, now that I have reviewed my goals, I shall refresh my goals and restart for every day is a new beginning.  Take time today to restart, this is our day.

I wept today, enough to fill the ocean

 I wept today. My mind is clearer now. Tears for the children alone and isolated because of neglect, Covid restrictions or other abuse. Tears for children who hold in their tears because they are told they are "too old to cry" or "embarrassed to cry" or "too tough to cry". Tears for those where the world's harshness as  has locked the tears deep inside.  Tears for suffering of those I love. Tears for the lonely living  in convalescent and assisted living facilities and  hospitals that won't allow visitors or have no one to visit. Tears of of frustration from too much work, complicated working situations and constant technology challenges. Tears for those who have children who are sick and dying. Tears for  our broken world. Tears for our country fighting within itself. Tears for our military personnel  who stand with courage, live with disabilities and die alone. Tears for police, fire and healthcare teams who respond when we are most in need. Tears for our poor in need of food, shelter and clothing. Tears for those who struggle with diseases including mental illness and depression.  Tears I don't even know the source. Tears of relief as my brother and nephew hugged me and encouraged me to cry it out. Tears of joy knowing that I am loved beyond measure by family, friends, my beloved husband and my God. I wept today, enough to fill the ocean. #healing #tears #wept #catharsis

Unfortunately, Fortunately

We took off on our bikes to go play basketball at the local school and unfortunately the school was back in session for a morning preschool program.  Fortunately we had another option and rode to Pershing Park to play basketball and the hoops were blocked with wooden blocks so public could not use. Fortunately we had yet another option. We rode to St. Catherine's Catholic School and their basketball hoops were also "blocked." Fortunately the church was open so we went inside, and our eyes adjusted quickly from the sunlight to church lit only from stain glass. It was quiet, we sang an alleluia to hear our echo, we prayed an Our Father, lit candles (turned them on as this is the new safe way to light candles) and took some photos.  Unfortunately I needed to return home to take an important call. Fortunately it was lunch time so Joe made us BBQ hot dogs and we ate outside.  Unfortunately I ate too much.  Fortunately the boys wanted to ride to Washington Park and keep me in shape and unfortunately those hoops were also blocked. Fortunately enough time had passed so we rode back to the original school and the basketball hoops were open. Finally we got to play basketball and tag and returned home for a yummy dinner made by Joe and Zachary.  Unfortunately the boys go home tomorrow. Fortunately we will see them again soon.  #pershingpark #Washingtonpark #fortunately #stcatherineofsiena

Reflecting on what is timeless.

 I leafed through the pages of a 2008 Country Home magazine this morning. Luann Brandsen, Editor in Chief, wrote in her welcome letter about a time in 1855 when people lived on a small farm home with very little. She talked about the modest way of life based on historical information that had been shared with her.  While we can not go back in time, we can look back at what is timeless. Many of my parents' generation are passing to heaven lately. My mother passed in 2017 at age 92, this week Fr. Gerry O'Rourke, at age 95 and one month ago my friend Kathy Murphy at age 89.  I reflect on their lives and some of the ways I know they lived and what remains timeless. 

On her modest family budget,  Mom created many one pot meals including stews, soups and other recipes to feed her 9 children and husband. We always enjoyed a homemade dessert every night including browning, pies, and cookies.   Our kitchen had enough space for cooking, baking and serving 3 meals a day at our regimented time: 6am breakfast, 11am lunch and 5:30pm dinner.  In this 1600 square foot home we all had beds, closet space and room to play. We never needed more storage as we did not have that much stuff. Our one pot, maybe 2 served us well. We had bikes, roller-skates and of course Milton Bradley board games and cards. In our closet hung 1 school uniform, two white blouses/shirts, one blue uniform sweater and for the girls one pretty dress for Sunday mass and free dress day at Catholic school. Our dresser drawers held jammies and a short set.  We always had something to wear, time for girl scouts, sports and a place at our table to eat family meals together. While mom did call herself taxi driver, her driving extended from home to school as our sports practices, music lessons and scouts were right after school ended and at the school yard/cafeteria and convent. Even with 9 children our lives were not complicated. She had time for us.  Simplicity is timeless.

Kathy Murphy recycled before that word existed. She reduced water usage by watering plants with leftover dish and bath water. Kathy reused fabric for patching holes in pants and shirts. She made quilts and homemade potholders. Her children were able to walk to school and this gave her extra time to do things at home and for others. She and her husband led the marriage preparation classes for St. Catherine's of Siena Catholic Church and both volunteered for 30 plus years with St. Vincent de Paul.  Service is timeless.

While I did not know Fr. Gerry's that well, his ways as a priest were wise and profound. Fr. Gerry often led the 12 noon daily mass where he would speak to us from the pulpit, asking a question and expecting a response. He had beautiful habit of waving to us all at the end of mass and the whole parish waved back. My husband Joe referred to him as our local Pope.  He had a way of engaging in conversations as if you were the only one in the room and with a piercing gaze as if he knew your every thought.  In a reflection on forgiveness, provided as part of his funeral mass, he wrote a process to forgive. No doubt from reading this pamphlet on forgiveness, his insights are grounded in theology, and his own experience as a human and as a priest. Forgiveness is timeless.

I began this blog thinking I would write about the past as in the 1920's, 1930's and 1940's and realize my past  is a reflection on three people's gifts to me.  Reflecting is timeless.

Propagating Plants

Jenny, my former neighbor, taught me how to propagate plants. She obviously was good at propagating as she lived to be 102 and watered her own plants almost to the day she passed away.  Simply stated, she said, "just pick something you like and put it in soil."  It is working, I have propagated many geraniums, honeysuckles and other plants with names unknown to me for the past 15 years.  I just see a beautiful plant, pick a piece, literally take my fingers and pull a clipping. I do this when I am on my daily walk and I come home and plug these clippings into some pot and in days, weeks and years they grow and thrive.  If only we could recognize that secret for ourselves, how to propagate our beauty. Not in the sense of clipping or pulling however in  recognizing my beauty or better said my best self and fertilizing, focusing,  nurturing and becoming my best SELF.  As a cottage gardener I have learned a lot about plant species that I see applies to life as a human species. Pruning brings new life - whether you prune yourself or life prunes you - you can thrive when you recognize that pruning is a gift. Water water water - drink more water and you will thrive. Bloom and see your beauty and know that it too passes so enjoy the blooming period. Be present to this moment and experience growth and know when you need water and fertilizer and care for yourself. Your body, mind and heart call for help. Are you listening? Plants like people are born, grow, bloom, fade, need water and soil and then fall away to seed and come back another day.  Our another day of return will be different, however, I am sure our blooming will be more radiant.  

Rosemary Herb

Fresh picked rosemary herb sits here on my dining table. The fragrance is intoxicating and inviting me to be here in this moment. Rosemary is linked to improving mood, clearing the mind and relieving stress. It is working, I feel better already.  In this moment all is quiet enough to hear the hum of an airplane's engine overhead, the vibration of water pressure from our sprinkler and a loquat seed dropping from the tree after asquirrel finished enjoying the fruit. Our loquat tree has been so abundant as are our pear and apple trees. My pen glides easily as my thoughts flow freely. I feel so grateful for this abundant life. (I am now retyping this into my blog, it's original form was written ion my journal.)  

Last week we took JP's boys on a little vacation that included scavenger hunting for feathers, rocks and creatures and three days of kayaking on the Monterey Bay.  2020 is a year different from all others. It will be remembered perhaps by: Covid 19, Black Lives Matter, Political unrest, Economic downturn, Social Distancing and the year of deep sorrow as family and friends die alone. 

What will we come away with? 

For me: 

1. I will appreciate more deeply time spent with friends and family, long hugs and walking closely together.  

2. I will have deeper respect for all people and especially black people. I have come to see more clearly the suffering they endure because their skin is dark. The roads black people walk, and other races too, have difficult and rocky paths. I will practice using my heart and mind versus my eyes to look beyond skin color, race, and cultural difference to pave clear and smooth paths for all.  

3. I will become a good citizen by educating myself on all sides of issues and being open to others' points of view and voting with new understanding. I will participate more fully as a citizen and as a leader for causes and encourage others to understand, lead and vote.  

4. I will reduce my consumption, realizing consumerism is not all that the advertisers claim. Having  the best home, car, clothes- name it for yourself, does not measure up to the beauty of being with family, friends and neighbors. 

5. I will appreciate walking by neighbors without putting on a mask and making a wide circumfrance out of fear and safety.

In this moment as my rosemary herb heals, I deeply appreciate all that is and all that will be including taking walks, teaching yoga, riding bikes, looking for a pretty rock and floating on a kayak with JP's boys.

Holy communion

It has been 85 days since I had received Holy Communion. We have been receiving spiritually in our hearts as part of our Sunday St Catherine Live Stream Mass. Taste and See the goodness of our God. Alleluia. My heart is alive, leaping for joy and feeling deeply the gift of our faith in the Holy Eucharist. I don't always attend the 7am daily mass, however, today, I woke up as alive as a 4 year old ready to celebrate her birthday, full of JOY.  I knew I was going to be attending mass and receiving Holy communion.  This 7am faith community, our Pastor, Fr. John Ryan, our Sacro Costato Sisters and being with one another in person gives life. Receiving Holy communion after 85 days of spiritual communion lifts my very being to Heaven and to the kingdom that is here in Burlingame, CA. My soul is magnifying God, my savior and in whom I love and whom I live and have my being.  I feel so grateful, so joyful, so alive that I just write in a  stream of conscious every thought and feeling. Tears are streaming for the joy of being able to attend mass and receive communion with my beautiful St Catherine's community. I moved to Burlingame/San Mateo 35 years ago when I graduated from college. I joined St. Catherine's as soon as I found her. Having my faith, the faith I received/learning from mother and grandmother and sisters and brothers and from church community is my greatest gift. Faith in God for me if  found in the love of another and especially in our Burlingame faith sharing community.  Holy communion, the embrace I have missed, has led me to realizing what great Jesus gave us.

Life and Death

As today comes to an end I reflect on life and death. I went to visit my friend Kathy Murphy, who is close to death.  I attended a beautiful church service via Zoom, and heard my good friend Sara Conant and her children Rosie, Wilson and Mattie sing, play guitar and do hand movements for Peace is Flowing Like a River, a song that invokes what we need most. Our neighbor Tom dropped by to share that he is surviving cancer despite what doctors told him and enjoyed his 60th wedding anniversary with his bride Barbara. Our other friends' children: Emily and Olivia Murphy,  drove by as I was working in our garden and shouted out "hi", and then stopped to visit. They returned later on their walk with their beloved parents and friends to connect. We had a zoom call with our good friends Alan, Rosalia, Pierre and Sophie and connected from Boston, MA to Kirkland, WA. I picked loquats from our tree and plan to make jelly. I realized all the while, people are grieving loss, enjoying food and walk, worried about jobs and future, caring for parents and friends who are sick and dying and others just walking by without a care in the world.  The world is full of everything and all emotions at all times and sometimes we become aware of all the emotions of the world, today for me was one of those times. I was fully aware that the world had suffering, joy, loss, anger, calm, fun, freedom, isolation, loneliness, sorrow and other emotional experiences as a result of personal situations and world situations.  My world opened today to many others' personal worries and experiences. Today instead of me I was aware of Thee. I want to recall that in life there is death, in life there is joy and sorrow, in life there are experiences beyond what I can imagine nor endure and yet in life there are people who love, care and stand by each other. I want to be someone who stands by you in all your experience that I become awake to what you are going through. I want to be in life and in death for you.


Kathy Murphy, my San Mateo Mother, and mother to my best friends the Murphy children: Shelia, Toby, Martha, Moira, Tim and Barbara. My 20's were spent hanging with the Murphy children and their parents.

The night turns to day

My mornings are often filled with a calm that I love. I get up early to be with Joe before he departs for United which gives me the opportunity to watch night turn into day. The sun rising slowly and the shades of light changing the appearance of the landscape is amazing. I often open my back door so that I can hear the morning song of birds, the gentle rustle of leaves and sometimes, in the distance, a Caltrain whistle.  I love the morning. We wake up refreshed as we practice a regular sleep time and routine as suggested by all of the health experts.  Joe and I have been enjoying the beginning of a Calm app sleep meditation. It puts us to sleep within minutes so we have never really heard any of the stories from beginning to end.  The calm before the day inspires me to meditate, to write, to putz, to pray and to be. This quote from Henry David Thoreau resonates with me.

"The morning, which is the most memorable season of the day, is the awakening hour. Then there is least somnolence in us; and for an hour, at least, some part of us awakes which slumbers all the rest of the day and night... All memorable events, I should say, transpire in morning time and in a morning atmosphere. The Vedas say, "All intelligences awake with the morning." #Calm

Warmth of womb

I desire to be tucked into the “warmth of womb.” The stresses of our global community,  our local community and my community: family, friends and those I serve as part of my St. Vincent De Paul vocation, are weighing heavy on my mind, heart and in my  body. In speaking to my sister Catherine Heath this morning, who is also my professional coach, she suggested I take time for myself and consider the warmth of the womb.  This imagery and remembrance of our mother’s womb, a time where we are tucked inside the human body near the heart and major organs, so close to someone as this being in our mother’s womb, lifts the heaviness I am feeling.   Over the past few days I have experienced a deep longing to be tucked in closer to family and friends. I feel today how many have been feeling for the past months. We are separated from one another as we shelter in place, no hugs, no physicality, no feeling the warmth and love of human touch.    When shelter in place started in March, I relished the idea to hide and shelter,  enjoying the quiet and solitude. Now, as shelter in place continues, longer than I expected, I desire to be with others. I see how Adam, from the garden of life story, wanted companionship and touch.  Having another, being loved by another, being tucked in to another consubstantiates the warmth of the womb. This is what I desire, to be tucked into the warmth of womb.

Zachary, musician, chef, friend and nephew

Last night Joe and I enjoyed a Michelin star meal. Curry chicken thighs made by Zachary.  Zachary has come to be with us for a few days while my brother is flying for Southwest. Thank God people are still traveling so that my brother has his career.  Also this makes for an opportunity to host Zachary for a few days here in Burlingame. While Joe and I are still working, me from home, I needed to keep Zachary on task. This included getting english "Romeo and Juliet" paper written, completing math graphs and listening to music and writing his observations.  His writing, which I read, demonstrates his deep appreciation for beautiful music. When all that was done, he asked what was for lunch and dinner. Well I had already defrosted chicken thighs and suggested he could make something. He said what shall I make and I suggested thinking about it in terms of Asia, French, and immediately he said "let's make curry."  So he found a recipe, walked to the store to get the necessary ingredients, and returned home. I stopped my afternoon work day to make our lunch, walk to the park and enjoy a little picnic together. We then took a walk to the bank and home again.  As I continued my work day, he found things to do around the house including watching tv. At the end of our day, roughly 6pm, Zachary donned an apron and with aplomb began to tell me what we need too do. He was Chef and I his sous chef. We worked together, under his direction, I chopped, braised, he chopped and got spices ready, we created a most amazing, delicious meal.  Then upon my surprise, he wanted to set the table. I grabbed stable cloth and he set, placed and created a most beautiful table setting. We turned on Indian music to go with our dinner theme and sat and chatted about food, wine, my mother, his grandma, our life and well a good friend I have made in my nephew Zachary.

Working from home

 I am grateful to be working for PwC, a company with great leadership, interesting work and commitment to the employees and our clients. I am also grateful that my beloved husband is still able to go to work as a United Airlines mechanic. As we all learn to work from home including having meetings using video technologies there is a hesitancy to not use the video function. At first I did not really want to be seen on the video camera as it seemed awkward and intrusive. However, the more I tried using it, the more I enjoyed the connection, even more than in person meetings. I surmise that by peering into others' home offices we see the other as more human.  I have see beautiful curated  spaces that are clean, simple, elegant, comfortable and inviting. Several home offices display their childrens' art, others have musical instruments and still others have bookshelves filled with books to far from camera to actually see titles.  As we all become more comfortable using video capabilities with colleagues and clients, it inspires a new way to work that has created a level of relationship that is truly more personal.  Working from home also gives us more time to work and less time to be in traffic, maybe even less stress.  Working from home also seems to inspire longer days as we hop on the computer early and have meetings that go back to back all day to evening. I am grateful that working from home also allows for us to make our lunch and eat with our families and maybe even get in a daily form of exercise.  As we shelter in place and work from home, earth is getting her rest, skies are bluer, air seems cleaner and people seem calmer.  We pray for those who are ill, for all who care for those who are ill and most of all for those who are lonely. I hope we return to connecting in person for all things personal and continue to work from home for that type of work that is possible.#returntowork

Bike Riding

The sun was shining brightly this past weekend inspiring a bike ride. Joe got the bikes out, pumped up the tires, dusted the pollens off the seats and off we went. We had no plans of where to go, so we chose to just roam the neighborhood. We took a road that led to an uphill climb, and then left turn to go back down to even ground. We felt the sunshine on our faces, we passed people walking, others riding bikes and humanity filled with joy. What is humanity filled with joy look like? For me, it is smiling families walking, riding bikes and being together. It is nature's abundance springing and  showing off in all her glory. It is roaming the neighborhood on streets we never knew and seeing front yards filled with beauty. It is seeing children and parents creating chalk art for us to see. It is stopping on our bikes to smell the roses. It is playing hopscotch and jumping alphabet blocks drawn with instructions to hop each block on one foot. It is no schedule, no destination, it is fresh air on our face, sunshine in the sky and a bike to ride. I have never been unhappy on a bike ride, maybe this is the cure we all need.

Frisbee and Hide and Seek

My life is full of joy as I reflect on this past weekend.  Joe and I went to Fresno to check in with my brother and his 3 amazing boys: Zachary, Conor and Nathaniel.  They are amazing, talented and intelligent including academic honors in school.  We played frisbee and hide and seek. It was so fun to be in the sun and playing games, of course social distancing in those games.  Their love is like what I imagine God's love to be - free, unconditional, joyful, alive and generous.  Just wanted to remember this past weekend and the joy and love experienced.

Can you feel the earth breathe

As we continue our shelter in place it seems the skies are bluer, the waters are clearer and you can feel the earth breathe.  Mother Earth has cared for us forever and maybe she needed a rest break. Perhaps the wisdom of earth, that always returns through the cracks, even when concrete buries her for a while, emerges alive, green, vibrant and well. The concrete of humanities consumption is no longer being poured out during this time of shelter in place and thus the earth is growing and breathing....listen, see and feel.

Aware of my own well being

Sometimes through my volunteer work for the St. Vincent De Paul Society, I am overwhelmed by the increasing need here in our San Mateo and Burlingame neighborhoods. Today is one such day as I have already received 2-3 calls from the same lady who needs a "$10 spot."  Another lady who called and needs help filling out an online application for a second job she needs to make ends meet. She neither reads nor writes and the only way to get a job is to complete an online application. You must know she also does not know how to use nor own a computer.  Then just when I am up to my eyeballs in my own career, feeling the pressure of the great needs of those around me and worried about the ongoing pandemic and economic crisis, a sudden awareness of my own well being inspires my heart and give me the stamina to do what I can for another day.  I am sure my sudden awareness, was a little tap on the heart from my beloved God who sometime whispers but today God touched my heart.

Wisteria

With patience all things grow.  I bought a wisteria plant via mail order about 4 years ago and each year it grew yet it did not bloom. This year, it is blooming. During this time of shelter in place, the wisteria plants blooms. The blooms of our wisteria a reminder that with patience, life will bloom again and in ways maybe beyond our imagination.  

Long Walk

The sun came out and warmed our neighborhood today. After working hard at the computer, logging information, calling clients and attempting to build relationships, I just needed a walk. I did not go my usual path, I took a road less traveled and went to Coyote Point Recreation area. My mind was working overtime praying for our friend Richard who has been laid off work, and for the many others  we serve through St. Vincent De Paul and for those who have lost loved ones for any reasons including the pandemic. This time in our life while allowing some of us to slow down, I am painfully aware that many more are suffering in so many others ways financially, loneliness, inability to properly bury the dead and fear.  As my long walk continued I saw others on the road, as we passed one another, we waved or acknowledged with a head bob some sort of recognition of the other. This is new, in the past, people may have just walked past one another, now people really look and see each other. As my walk continued I began to be present to the fragrance of flowers, the colors of the blooms and nature thriving all around. My prayers moved to gratitude that some of us put our laptops away, left our phones at home and that I have time to walk. In the long walk, my sorrow turned to gratitude and a pretty yellow butterfly came close. I am grateful for eyes to see, ears to hear, my nose that smells and my legs that took my on my long walk.

Consolation

I am grieving with those who are alone and their loved ones who are not able to be with those they love during their loneliness, suffering and dying. Even beyond those impacted by the corona virus the world is and has over eternity experienced the imprisonment of  loneliness, illness, and poverty. The world's suffering today and always is part of life. This day I awake to another day with birds singing and realize that others are suffering. I ponder how to console those most in need of our mercy. I wonder if this experience of the corona virus during this time will enable us to consider the consolations necessary for all time and in all situations. Oh that my eyes will see the suffering and that my heart will feel the pain. Teach me how to use my mind, body and resources to console you today and always. My heart wide open as I share your suffering.#onbeing
This poem is beautiful

Leanne O'Sullivan

A Poem in Gratitude for Health Care Workers

Missing my cleaning lady

As the weeks go by and we continue to shelter in place, I have to do some basic cleaning I have not done in a while.  Early this morning I cleaned the bathtub.  We usually have Marina's house cleaning service clean our home. This is a luxury that I have always enjoyed since I began my career. My mother suggested that I do it for myself a long time ago.  What I enjoy most about the cleaning service is not only how beautiful and clean our cottage looks, I also have time to do the more decorating activities I love. I love to pick flowers from our yard and place in vases,  and love to rearrange often photos, books and knick knacks ..."paddywacks" as Jim, our friend refers to all my trinkets. Today I discovered that I have forgotten how hard it is to lean over a tub and clean it. Today I pray for and appreciate my cleaning ladies Marina and Candy who provide a service that brings joy to my heart, sparkle to my home and ease to back.  THANK YOU Marina and Candy. I miss you during this time of shelter in place.

The Great Global Blessing of 2020

Pondering the great depression, as named for the time during 1929-1933 when we had a food shortage caused by the dust bowl and a stock market crash, or the Spanish Flu 1918-1920 or the more recent genocide of Rwanda, April 17- July 15, 1994, and the Iraqi war still underway, peaking death tolls in the mid 1990's, I am grateful for this global pandemic.

Time gone by, places far away and not understanding war and genocides, I am grateful that in 2020 our global communities and our local communities are in this together. We are not away from the suffering but part of the suffering. In this experience, for many of us, it is our first time being so close and part of something so grave. We are living with precaution, concern and the need to talk with children and friends sharing in our uncertainty.  For the first time we read and hear about and know people personally who are directly impacted either in service and care or in the death of a loved one.

In this experience, for me, I have becoming more aware of the depth of suffering that many other local and global communities experience daily even now well beyond this pandemic. Those who are impacted from gang violence, civil wars, poverty, and domestic violence.  These are horrible situations that go on every day in our lifetime.  These are humanities sufferings that  that most of us, will for me, I try to avoid contemplating for it hurts too much.   So often I sheltered myself from the world's suffering, poverty, loss and worry. I shelter in place from all that goes on even in 2020.

Not this year.  This year, 2020,  I open my eyes, and ears and hear the cries of the poor and listen to those impacted by loss of jobs and friends.

This year of 2020 we become AWARE as a people together.  We recognize the need for each other and connect more deeply in the real uncertainty of our time.  I personally am grateful that we have a renewed compassion for the lonely, dying alone, the poor, those most in need of food and assistance, the sick,  in need of medical care and ventilators, those on the fronts lines in our grocery store, restaurants, delivery services, healthcare and our government officials operating in crisis.

I truly believe that in the end of this crisis, we will have learned a new way to be: coming to gather as a global community to find a cure, working together at a more measured pace to see what needs to be done for all,  serving one another with kindness and compassion, smiling at each with more presence, appreciating those who work in jobs that provides us the services we need and most of all connecting with our families and loved ones. Praying that our global communities and governments come together to create a new world in 2020 to be known as the year of The Great Global Blessing.

Hiding in plain sight

Inspired by Dynamic Catholic’s Best Lent Ever today, I am reminded of Jesus’ presence everywhere and in everyone. We only need to open our eyes and see, the Holy Spirit alive.  While visiting my brother JP’s boys, we often play with the nerf guns, dividing into two teams and I am usually on Conor’s team. Conor’s approach is to hide in plain sight, walking along as if he is not in the game and not seen, however, he is keenly aware of where his brothers’ Zachary and Nathaniel, our opponents are located.  He strategically has me remain close to him, back to back as we maneuver through the game. Amazingly enough this approach of hiding in plain sight enables us to move through the game and successfully get to our destination.  I believe that God/Holy Spirit/Jesus, this mystery is actually here, hiding in plain site and becomes visible in one another’s smiles, kindness, protection, care, service and love. Please come of out of hiding.#dynamiccatholic, #love, #dailyinspiration

Nurture goodness and abundance

When the worst happens in our world, through grace, humans know how to rise to their best.  We are in that time and we see the sacrifices that people are making to help families, neighbors, the sick, those who show up to work in our grocery stores, food service and restaurants and those who continue to be with and serve the poor.  As Dorothy Day said, "Why can't we live this way all the time?"  We are people of goodness and abundance. Even in this time when we are out of work, or low on money or not certain of our future, we are nurturing goodness and abundance. Many people state that our  world will be different following this pandemic and economic crisis. I do hope the world will be different and that forever we will nurture goodness and abundance. My sister, Sr. Anastasia Lott, Maryknoll Sister,  often says at the end of our visits, "be good."  I now understand know that wisdom and I thank you Sr. Anastasia for teaching me the wisdom to "be good."#Maryknollsisters, #love

My desert

Reflecting on the mystics, many literally go to the desert to be alone or better said, to be in silence in order to hear God's voice.  My mind has a way of turning darkness into light, difficulty in good and this time of shelter into relishing time in my "desert" to hear God's voice.  I am not  really in the desert as I  have my computer, my news, and my ability to connect with others using technology.  I am using this "shelter in place" as my opportunity to step back, be quiet and create my desert. I have often wanted to live like the monks I read about in books. I long for periods of time to pray, walk in silence, write thoughtfully, and to be. I am taking time each morning to write this blog which enables my to write my thoughts to share the Voice within.  Despite still working full time from home, I am enjoying the periods of quiet. Even as I enter information into CRM systems, refine marketing/sales messaging for my clients to keep the pipeline full,  and take care of daily home making tasks, the silence is gift. My desert time has enabled me to reflect on what matters most listening to God's voice. I am reminded in this silence, this desert, that there are people in need of our generosity, prayer and our service. My desert time is a gift to hear God's voice and  be both in the desert and go out from the desert, with  precaution, to serve those in need. #Stvincentdepaul, #love

Lazarus, Jn 11: 1-14

Today's gospel reading was about Lazarus. For those unfamiliar with the story of Lazarus, it is the a key miracle where Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. He had been dead for 4 days. It is a beautiful story of Jesus's experiencing even our deepest grief as he wept with Mary and friends of Lazarus. In the end of the story Jesus reminds us He is the resurrection and the life and he raises Lazarus from the dead.  Joe and I now watch our Sunday mass on uTube as we stay sheltered in our cottage here in Burlingame. Today's uTube mass, from Word on Fire, with Bishop Robert Barron inspired my own reflection on renaming the person of Lazarus to Gretchen.  For myself, the question is how does Jesus call me to rise from the dead. I try to live fully, however, I do recognize that more frequently than not I turn on the TV and watch a reruns of decorating shows, surf the web looking at ideas in lieu of doing something, contemplate how to serve instead of getting up to do the work that needs to be done and ultimately die in complacency. For today I shall LIVE in the service of those most in need. Our St. Vincent de Paul Society, here in Burlingame, has needs beyond our usually volume. Many more people now, without work, need food, rental assistance and other material support. I shall go today to be for others.

Uninvited Silence

"This period of uninvited silence and darkness may seem deafening and unproductive to us. But it is always within silence… within the dark…that things have a way of germinating; of growing and coming to full maturity."
Sr. Margaret Mayce, OP
Dominican Sisters International Confederation

My sister, Sr. Anastasia Lott, shared a recent letter from Sr. Margaret Mayce a fellow Dominican Sister. I found a particular line in her letter, the quote above, inspiring. In this time of "uninvited silence" there is something good happening. My husband Joe and are experiencing more time to be together and connect and as a result deepening our love. Even with my colleagues at PwC, I am finding a closer bond in our working together. Using virtual methods, and seeing each others' home offices, offers a personal glimpse into their homes and lives outside of work. Reducing consumption of goods and services, gives earth a chance to rest. I continue to pray for those diagnosed, those dying along to have peace. I pray our scientists find a cure and complete eradication of this Corona virus. I also pray that all the good we learn in this time of "uninvited silence" will remain forever a part of our new world.#margaretmayce, #maryknollsisters

Birds singing, nature springing.

It is 6:30am and the birds are singing and plants and trees are blooming. Spring is here. While we continue to shelter in place, nature continues to thrive. As the birds break the quiet of morning, and a gentle rain falls, nature brings warmth to my heart.  We are emerging from winter’s cold and now with COVID-19 pandemic, winter’s chill lingers.  World news reminds us of the suffering, loss, worry and uncertainty of this time. However, nature is calling us to wake up. Nature is shouting, loudly through birds singing, rain falling, and life blooming. Can you hear, see, taste, smell and feel springtime in your heart. Today, turn off the news, open your eyes, ears, minds and allow winter’s cold to thaw our suffering so we can heal the world.#spring2020

Pausing to shelter in place

Seeing the good with all of the sad and uncertain news being reported can be difficult.  During this time of sheltering in place, there is time for pausing to self reflect, pray, connect and work and live in new ways.  The real opportunity for us as the human race is to use this pause in the life we knew to absorb the benefits of sheltering, reducing consumption, being with family, cooking more home meals, walking our neighbors to the degree safe, being in solitude, catching up on movies, learning new skills, reducing car accidents from multi-tasking while driving, reading books,  playing board games, cleaning the closet, gardening, and finding new ways to live simply. The blessings abound in this new way of living. In the end when we start the big engine of productivity, I pray, hope and desire  that we retain the good that we have discovered, and sustain our planet by living in ways that recall this pause in the life we knew to shelter in place. #livingsimply

Connecting, Praying, Penance

During these past few days as sheltering in place sets in to a daily way of life, praying for a cure and connecting with family and friends is what I am called to do.  The world news is creating a sorrow inside me that only praying and connecting with family and friends can soothe. While I know this too shall pass and that some countries and peoples have suffered way beyond this current crisis, this is where I am today.  I try to sit in the sorrow so that I build compassion. By nature, I usually spin everything into something positive, however, for today, I will hold the sorrow in my heart so that when things do get better I will not forget that every day, in every year, someone somewhere is suffering. I will not forget.  Yesterday, we watched a movie, "The Two Popes." In the movie Pope Francis' early life as a priest reflected the huge suffering and torture that occurred in Argentina during the 70's. The rest his life, Fr. Bergoglio, now Pope Francis committed his life to service, simplicity, and compassion as depicted in the movie, almost as a penance, for what had occurred in the 70's to his fellow Jesuits/people.  Perhaps this time is for some of us to wake to a penance required to change the world and recognize what we can do to eliminate the suffering that has gone on in the world's poorest countries and neighborhoods and bring the compassion, service and love the world needs now and always. #popefrancis

Be Here Now

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” -Martin Luther  

As we shelter in place, I am inspired to commit to a daily reflection.  It is quiet here on Sunday morning, Joe tucked in bed and me up and reflecting while sipping coffee with cream. This past week has unfolded with questioning if this is real, to feeling more frightened, to learning to use zoom to teach my three yoga classes to recognizing this is the moment to be here now.  Be here now began as my 2020 mantra for the year, to be present, to practice presence and to not worry.  I did not realize on January 1, 2020 that being here now would be such an important reminder for all of us. The universe speaks to each of us, during this time of sheltering in place with no where to go, it is time to be here now. #beherenow

3200 Bottles of Wine

“3200 bottles of wine in the cellar,” a statement made by a friend referring to another friend’s wine cellar and as a magic number for the right amount of wine to have. It was statement made as an indication of success.  Success measured in so many ways and this was first for me to hear that by having 3200 bottle of wine one has achieved some status of success.  To each their own. I might not have ever looked at this way before. Previously I might have suspected greed or arrogance or something in a context perceived more negative around this sort of statement. However, as I begin to really understand myself, while that “3200 bottles wine of wine in the cellar” does not reflect my success, it does to the person who has them and perhaps to others who enjoy wine or filling their wine cellar.  Success for me is the ability to be non judgmental about what success is to another.  In the process of reflecting on this insight, I feel successful and now I let go of that feeling and breathe in this moment where my success is no longer a measurement for me except to just be.  Hmmmm.

Balancing My Checkbook

Balancing My Checkbook…..

What you say has this to do with resolutions, everything. As I contemplate my day, it came to me that many of us set financial goals as resolutions for the new:  save more money, reduce spend, and so on. I know for myself, every year, I set financial, spiritual, physical and professional goals. The one I always seem to achieve is my financial goal. In reflecting on why this could be I realized that I maintain my financial goals using my check book to track of my expenses and my calendar to track my savings goals. I balance to the penny and I assess investments for growth plans.  In speaking with many of my siblings well all 8, only one of my many siblings balances their checkbook. While this seems inconsequential, I think that there is a very important pattern that by tracking goals such as my expenses, credits, debits, savings and literally pennies, I am achieving my financial goals. I do not track my physical goals and have had less success in achieving those stated goals. Now, my siblings that have pedometers and watches that track steps and exercise and report that they are achieving their physical goals of walking a certain number of steps each day.  My sister that is a Maryknoll sister, has a daily book for morning prayers/reflections that she follows. She keeps to her daily prayers.   In the end because we track certain activities or goals our propensity to achieve or follow through with resolutions seems to goes up. My only evidence is conversations with my siblings on resolutions and results.  So for today, I shall not only balance my check book I will track my steps.  What do you need to track today, tomorrow and this year?