Happy Halloween

 October kicks off the final quarter of the year and the beginning of the holiday season. We begin with the beauty of fall, the season of letting go, of warm colors, of pumpkins and of decorating. Here in Fresno, homes are adorned with fall flags, freshly planted mums, pansies and other brightly colored annuals. In Burlingame, the same, there are porches that have many pumpkins and season decor.  Today is Halloween and being here in Fresno, I feel the joy of pumpkin carving, thinking about costumes and something warm and easy for dinner.  I also recall fondly, when I was young, our mother and father making chile and easy to eat meals so that we could go out trick or treating and also eagerly return home to give out candy.....I wanted to do both. Sometimes I also experience the mad dash in the Holiday season, trying to get it all done: decorations, shopping, finishing my year strong for my career in sales and wanting things to be perfect.  In this moment, I let go of tomorrow, I sip my coffee, enjoy the quiet of JP's home and breathe in gratitude. Happy Halloween.

Let It Be

 Let is be is a common mantra I say to myself when I am here in Fresno.  Often my brother has one way to do something and I might do it completely different, let it be.  I ask the boys a simple question and they choose to roll their eyes or seem irritated and I say to myself let it be.  This morning as I was making the bed and seeing all kinds of candy wrappers on the floor and wondering of the eating choices,  my mantra popped into my mind, let it be. Shirley, my beloved mother, must have thought that so often with 9 children.  So many things, personalities and ways of being that may be different than our own, let it be.  The Beatles' song, Let it be was more true than I ever realized, there will be an answer sometimes it is to just let it be.

Let It Be, Let It Be and in the letting it be there is peace. #letitbe, #peace, #acceptance

Healthy Habits bringing Light!

 Today is the day to practice healthy habits to bring light to my life. 

So far so good. Reading, meditation, restorative yoga, water and oatmeal topped with pomegranate seeds ....coffee too.  Now my continued desire for daily blogging/online journaling and more water.  Awakening this morning my mind, body and spirit into the oneness, wholeness, and healing from within. Letting my light shine today in this moment so that the light in me becomes the light in thee. 

The rain has stopped

 The rain has stopped, the air is clear, the damage unknown and life goes on for those unaffected. My friend Diane lost power and so to my delight she came over yesterday to power up her generator and download some movies. Today, still no power in some areas, and Diane will work with me here in our little cottage. California has not had rain in 200 days and even the rain 200 days ago was not sufficient to water the earth. Then, the earth was so dry, the water "sprinkles" could not penetrate the parched land. However, this past weekend, 10 inches in a short time can penetrate and wreak havoc.  Trees down, power down, mudslides, flooding and yet I am sure the earth is singing! I too sing alleluia to have Diane join me as we work together - she in the living room and me in my guest room/sewing room/office. The versatility of our cottage, that too a reason to sing.

The games we play

One of the great joys of my life, is purging.  My family fears when I come to their homes as I often want to purge other people's stuff too.  Well, it is fun for me.  I find it to be satisfying to create space from giving things away.  Another joy of mine is a game I play: my objective is to use up everything in the fridge, freezer or from friends' gardens. I do not like waste.  I create meals from what I have in the fridge and cupboards and what I forage from neighbors with gardens, in this case my friend Susan.  Susan's garden has been a blessing this whole summer. She has shared lettuces, tomatoes, basil, peppers, squash, pomegranates, lemons, limes, figs, carrots, onions, shallots, garlic, beans, and soon it appears she will have yams and persimmons.

Where do I start - the game of living off the land, off the random leftovers in the fridge, the joy of creating using only what you have?  It is all fun and play for me.  Joe left on a golf trip Friday and I made up my mind that I will enjoy the week with no grocery shopping- using only what we have on hand....which is not much since I secretly been playing this game for some months.  Joe and I travel between Burlingame and Fresno and I do not want any food to be wasted and therefore we buy just enough.  With the slim pickens in the fridge, freezer and cupboard with and Susan's prolific garden I have been able to have friends for dinner on Friday and more than enough to have another friend on Saturday. In this game that I play, not only do I practice moderation in eating, I have found great joy in creating delicious menus for my friends. Below I have made using dad's homemade redbud and grape jelly, thumb drop cookies. With Susan's spaghetti squash and kales, I created a pasta dish. Enjoying her lettuce, carrot, herbs and tomatoes in a salad and figs are part of the appetizer. Yummy and fun.

Here are some photos for your enjoyment. The one at the beginning of this blog is my little home office aka guest bedroom/office where I write my blog, sip my coffee and this morning enjoy the tulips from Di on Friday and the roses from Melanie on Saturday night and blended together beautifully. 

Shout for JOY!

 Shout out for joy as it is raining in Burlingame, CA.  The air will clear, the leaves will dance, the grass will grow and all will be shouting alleluia.  We have not had rain in so long it is a welcome gift. These tears from heaven to heal our tears on earth.

I am so happy, Joe is so happy we opened our back door early this morning just to listen to the falling rain. It was gentle, just right to soften the earth so that the water might slowly penetrate the parched earth. Today, in this moment, hearing the rain, I shall sing alleluia and shout for JOY!

We are healed

Together, Daniel and I went on his first St. Vincent De Paul home visit. This was years ago as Daniel has now been our conference president for several years and before that a new member. Maybe it was 10 years ago when we had the occasion to go to see two men who had just left a group rehabilitation or halfway home to live together in an apartment that was provided by their program. They called our St Vincent De Paul's local office requesting some pots and pans. Our protocol for a home visit is to go in pairs, to be with those in need and to help them. I don't recall their names, I do recall their love. I often recall their love as a reminder of my own vocation in St. Vincent De Paul "SVDP" as I am sharing this morning.

Daniel had just joined us, signing up during our St. Catherine's ministry drive. Daniel was maybe 30 years old at the time and he along with several other young new members was refreshing and life giving to our aging conference. (Conference is how we refer to our local parish community that participates in our SVDP.)  I wanted our home visit to these men to be exemplary and follow the training I had received/learned during the SVDP Ozanam Orientation. So before we went to meet with these two men that had been assigned as roommates and whom had requested pots and pans, Daniel and I met at the church, obtained the voucher for household goods and then drove over to the apartment. Before leaving our vehicle, we prayed together. In our prayer we asked to be compassionate to be present, generous and to be open to their needs.

We prayed the beautiful Vincentian prayer

Prayer before a Visit

Father, we ask you to provide
all that we need
as we do the work you have given us to do. 

Fill our hearts with your love;
help us to listen with compassion
and to speak with kindness and confidence. 

Jesus, we pray for the grace
to go without our preconceived judgments
so that we can be true peacemakers. 

Stir in us the fire of your love
and guide us with discernment. 

Fill our hearts with wisdom, generosity
and kindness.

Holy Spirit, inspire us
with joy and patience.

Be at work in us
so that we will
bring good news to the downcast,
healing to the brokenhearted,
hope to the destitute,
love and compassion to all who are suffering.

Amen.

 We walked up the stairs, and knocked on their door. They both came to the door and we all introduced ourselves. They invited us into their humble and empty apartment. These men had nothing and they had only requested pots/pans.  We saw that they needed furniture, beds, dishes, sheets, towels, household goods....they only asked for pots and pans. These men we not young, they had years of suffering, addiction and experience beyond knowing. With nowhere to sit, I suggested we just sit on the floor and discuss their situation and also maybe pray.   The older man, with white hair and beard had piercing blue eyes looked at all of us and said, gently and quietly, "I know the Confiteor." He then immediately led us in this prayer that is from Catholic doctrine, meaning to Confess, or acknowledge.

Here is the prayer he said:

I confess to almighty God
and to you, my brothers [and sisters],
that I have greatly sinned,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done and in what I have failed to do,
through my fault, through my fault,
through my most grievous fault;
therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin,
all the Angels and Saints,
and you, my brothers [and sisters],
to pray for me to the Lord our God.

I know that in that moment, I was healed, I was forgiven and I was in the presence of God. It is this home visit that continues to fortify my commitment to the service and love we provide as Vincentians, a name used for members of SVDP. I have come to know that in my personal struggles, God heals through one another ...open your eyes and hearts to the other and be healed. #stvincentdepaul, #love, #service, #healing

Daily Inspirations

 St. Benedict's life has been an inspiration to how I want to live. Not too many years ago, Matthew, one of my nephews went to boarding school at Subiaco, Arkansas. While Matthew was attending this beautiful school in the Ozarks of Arkansas I became intrigued by the Benedictine Order. "The Rule," is  essentially a guide to holiness and happiness.  Much of what I took from reading a book by Sr. Joan Chittister OSB,  "Wisdom, Distilled from the Daily, Living The Rule of St. Benedict Today." In her book she describes the way of life practiced by the Benedictine Order which includes a balance of:

Listening

Prayer

Community

Humility

Monastic Mindfulness

Work

Holy Leisure

Giftedness

Hospitality

Obedience

Stability

Monastic Practices

Peace

Monastic Vision

While I continue strive to be a better person, the above lists helps me see areas in my life that need improvement "practice" and balance.  I also find in the writing of this blog post, that just reflecting upon each of the above helps me to recall what is most important, experience this moment of peace and mindfulness on this list.  This moment  I have peace, stability, prayer and am listening to God.#joanchittister #subiaco #benedictineorder

https://stellamaris.nsw.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/benedictine-way-of-life.pdf

Reflecting on some moments

 Now that I am done crying, I can reflect on what happened. This morning, while letting my nephew drive us to school, I gave suggested that since there was a red light ahead he might want to start coasting. He is still a new driver and working with a driver's permit only, said well that is not what I am supposed to do. "In order to the pass the test, I need to keep my speed at the speed limit," he declared.  Well I lost my cool and told him, "I have 40 years of driving experience and slowing down for an upcoming red light was more appropriate and that Joe could practice driving with him heretofore!" I was so mad so angry so upset, I just escalated my thoughts into, you don't respect me.....  Now, after 2 hours of crying, anger, reflection, prayers and time, I realize I had no reason to be upset, as I made the presumption he did not respect me, when in reality, he was just stating what he thinks the rules of the road are. I wish I had the chance to redo this morning. If I had a redo, I would have just offered my driving guidance, accepted my nephew's response and let go.  I would have placed no judgment on his response and the morning moments would have gone in peace.  My outburst was rooted in anger instead of love. Oh dear, with all my practices of meditation, living in the moments, this mornings moments were not my best. I am forgiving myself in this moment and will seek forgiveness from my nephew when he returns from school. Maybe he will have already forgiven me or forgotten!