Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Inn of Loneliness
Some 9 years ago I experienced a deep depression and wrote in my personal journal of my loneliness. I found that in writing about it, I could endure it. Now time has passed and I am able to share my insights as an observer versus as the lost soul that I was during those dark hours. I describe loneliness as an inn, a place where one goes in their suffering. I recall shouting "where are you, don't leave me" and wanting so desperately out of the darkness, confusion, doubt and sorrow. My shouts were heard by the inn keeper. My innkeeper is God. My God sustained me, held me, and would not allow me to dive into the depths alone. After all my tears, my shouts and my clenching of fists, I felt a silence that was healing. I knew that God was present. In the silence, God held me. Most of us will experience some level of depression, loneliness, or other sorrow that hurts physically and emotionally. Know that in this place, this inn as I describe, there is solace, and finally a sustainable peace. I have not gone back to the inn but I fondly keep it in mind for it was there that God held me and I emerged with a deep sense of peace.
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4 comments:
Great post Gretchen. I think we have all visited the dark spaces of
the mind at times. The fact that you are able to share your thoughts and perspective is a gift. Your post reminded me of the poem Invictus. May your soul be unconquerable, and the strength that you have found through your reflection and faith sustain you.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
but it is so hard when you are in the midst of it
I think there is a cathartic effect in writing, moreover when we are writing, in our solitude, God inspire us. I was able to overcome my anxiety through my book and now want share it with others. The title is "Travels of the Mind" and it is available in my website www.ettoregrillo.com
If you have any question I am most willing to discuss about this topic.
Ettore Grillo
I too have visited that inn. Itnis sometimes a place that you don't know how you arrived there nor do you know the way out. But there is always a door.
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