Finding Joy

Yesterday was the third Sunday of Advent, referred to as Gaudete. The Latin Gaudete is translated as Rejoice, Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice; let your forbearance be known to all, for the Lord is near at hand; have no anxiety about anything, but in all things, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God. The holiday period has been known to be stressful and this year it has been particularly stressful. My stress due to very demanding work matters that are unceasing right now, too many commitments with friends that have kept me from time to refresh my energy and the macro conditions in the world that concern all of us. My last guest will leave this morning and sad to say it is with much relief as I believe I have just over done it. I can give with joy when there is moderation in my own life and this weekend was anything but moderation. We all experienced excessive partying, visiting, travelling to events and coming home to more people. This past weekend was too full for me causing me to lose the joy of the day especially on Sunday night when I returned home and was so physically and emotionally drained. I woke up this morning still joyless. My very nature is JOY. However I have neglected the garden of my heart and instead of being a joyful hostess, I was crusty, bitter and joyless. My JOY will return, even now, it is present as I soften my eyes, lift my spine, and smile, my outward movements, an intentional breath- inhale, pause, exhale and there, in this moment my joy is present. What is lost in excess activity is found in awareness of this moment. Rejoice, the Lord is near, in fact She is breathing me even now.