Compassion and Responsibility

It takes great courage to live and especially in 2021.  Compassion and responsibility are the virtues that have come to mind as I explore ways to step into helping others.  Often, my first reaction is to say it will be ok, or you are good as you are, however, lately the inspiration to be more direct with others may in fact be what they/we need. Have I coddled others/myself too much at the expense of not enabling others to live up to their potential or my fear of losing friendships? As a 32 year veteran of the St. Vincent De Paul Society of San Mateo County, compassion for the poor is a basic tenant of my faith and our society. Equally as important as compassion is responsibility. Responsibility includes helping people take steps to improve their situation. It is easy to be compassionate but takes hard work to be responsible.  It takes real commitment to go from providing food to providing training, sharing access to a network of services and following up with those we serve to help them move forward with skills, education, job applications and consistent contact.  This effort is to ensure that they move in a direction emotionally and physically to create a better life for themselves.  Socialism, as I am beginning to more deeply understand, takes that responsibility away from people with the notion that someone else will take care of them. Until we step into what we can do for ourselves we are not aware of our human potential. Socialism robs people of the opportunity to become all that they are intended to become.  Even as good Christians we know that we are make in the image of God. God is all good and capable. My question for myself is "do I hold people up as able?" or "do I give a bag of food and run from my own responsibility to really help people?" Another way to say....do I give the poor a fish or do I teach them to fish.  We are all capable of more than we think, we must step into our potential and push all others to do the same or we will die!

All In One

Today, as I was praying before the noon mass started, I pondered a phrase "All In One."  All In One or AIO, as my nephew Conor calls it, is a term he was using to describe a computer that had everything, eg., monitor, keyboard, etc., essentially all in one.  I loved this term so much I quickly adopted it for a yoga pose we do called Downward Dog.  Downward Dog, also known as Adho Mukha Svanasana, is a foundational yoga posture.  Downward Dog Pose tones the arms and legs, opens and strengthens the shoulders in flexion, lengthens the hamstrings and stretches the calves, and prepares the body for heating. Because it’s a combination of stretching, flexibility, balance, and strength, practicing Down Dog can help to balance and stretch your whole body, hence why I like to call it the All In One pose.  

Back to praying today, I also considered my husband, Joe Romano, an All In One husband as he seems to love everyone, move with ease and grace to accomplish all my to do's and everyone else's to do's too and loves me and people so beautifully.  The more I thought about this term All In One, I realized that the One to whom I was praying may also be called All In One. I smiled, looked to heaven, essentially glancing upward, and realized All In One was smiling too.  Who is your All In One?

Night Time

 The evening is here. The time is 6:29pm Tuesday. I will be joining a 7pm Bible Study zoom call and so I have time.....before that starts. I sit here at my desk in my home office/guest room and think what shall I write about tonight. I connected with my friend Carol Bagley, I wrote an email and text to my nephew James Heath inviting him to join the bible study too. I have my book next to me I could read and the Holy Bible too. Alas, I just want to put my thoughts on paper, in this blog so that have my daily blog posted. A statue of Mother Mary and Jesus adorns this beautiful desk where I sit along with family photos, a small box, and my art supplies oh yes a pretty beer stein turned into a lamp by my father circa 1955. Night time for me tonight is very quiet as Joe is Fresno with the boys and I stayed here in Burlingame since my schedule did not permit my travel this week. As I look at the words I wrote, I am grateful for this quiet, my husband, these photos, the Mother Mary and Jesus statue from Grandma Van. In this quiet I am feeling  my breath breathing me and experiencing a sense of good health and the joy of knowing I will connect shortly to a bible study with friends from St. CAtherine's Catholic Church in Burlingame, CA. I am grateful for night time and the gift of quiet and prayer.

Vincentian Friends

 Yesterday we met, our local conference of St. Vincent De Paul. We call ourselves Vincentians.  We had not been in a meeting together, in a room, close and seeing each other eye to eye, heart to heart in a long time. It was wonderful and it brought joy to each of us. I could see and feel and experience the love we share for one another and for those we serve.  Susan D. wanted to do a turkey give away for the many families we visit throughout the year. Sue G. hosted us and there we met, discussed and interjected ideas and approaches on how we would make this all happen. The end result is we created a great plan. Everyone has a part in the plan.  I am discovering that our little Vincentian group really goes way beyond service to others and has become deep and loving friendships for us.  Our 5 virtues that we strive for in our SVDP society include: Simplicity, Humility, Gentleness, Selflessness and Zeal. Yesterday, during our meeting, I saw all of that in each member. What a blessing. I am thankful to have found this vocation and these wonderful friends.  #svdp, #stvincentdepaul, #service, #love, #friends

5-7-5 Haiku

 Sometimes when I write

I can't think of what to say

I write anyway

The Children's Moon

 

The sunny moon was an expression that Conor said one day approximately 11 years ago at age 4. I recall he looked in the sky on a beautiful morning and saw the moon shining, pointing with his finger he exclaimed, "the sunny moon."  I have never forgotten this moment in time when Conor was so present in the moment delighting in God's creation....the "sunny moon."  Today as I listened to Kristen Tippet's podcast, she was in conversation with two amazing human beings: Contemplative and Story Telling Poet Marilyn Nelson and Poet and theologian, Pádraig Ó Tuama. At the end of the conversation with Kristen and Padraig, Marilyn read her poem The Children's Moon and it moved me to tears. It made me recall Conor's observation and exclamation of the sunny moon some 11 years ago when smiles came easier and life was pure joy. The way children see the world is beautiful, no wonder God calls us to become like the little children. #MarilynNelson, #PadraigO'Tuama, #onbeing, #kristentippett

The Children's Moon

Elegance

 Welcoming an idea a new way for me....elegance. As a rough around the edges gal, recently I am desiring to have elegance. Elegance as defined in Google Dictionary search: the quality of being graceful and stylish in appearance or manner.   My youngest nephew always takes good care of his hair, clothes, and general appropriate behaviors. I realized he seems to be inspired to present his best self. I noticed it at dinner last night, he uses good manners and is never crude at the dinner table and does not like it when I or his brothers do crude things e.g. burping etc.  He inspires dignity.  His elegance even at age 12 inspires me to think about putting my best elegant foot forward in every way. Maybe this is where we have broken down as a society or at least for me I have allowed myself to be a little to rough around the edges in some of my habits around dressing and behaviors at dinner. In being rough around the edges I react instead of being thoughtful, I am crude instead of being appropriate, I am lazy instead of hardworking, I am negligent in my hygiene instead of maintaining my hair cut and colored, nails polished and clothing stylish.   Today I will practice a new way... elegance. I am hoping that in the process, I become my best self.

All Saints Day

Today we celebrate the 34th anniversary of my sister Anastasia Lott's final vows into the Maryknoll Sisters. She is fondly called Sr. Sister by me.    Happy Anniversary Sr. Sister!

Speaking of saints, on November 1 we recognize all of the saints of the church who are deemed to have risen to heaven. The day is celebrated by holding a festival to remember the holy saints - a tradition thought to date back to the 4th century. All of the saints are remembered - even those who have no formal holiday.

Feeling a bit tired at this moment, however, wanting to keep up with the blogging.  Why is my energy low...maybe the overcast day, maybe the global concerns, maybe my career that is more administrative than value add, maybe my attitude.  I shall recall the saints in heaven and here on earth and be inspired to love, serve and be happy. I smile and I already feel better....thank you saints.  #maryknollsisters, #anastasialott, #commitment #love

Happy Halloween

 October kicks off the final quarter of the year and the beginning of the holiday season. We begin with the beauty of fall, the season of letting go, of warm colors, of pumpkins and of decorating. Here in Fresno, homes are adorned with fall flags, freshly planted mums, pansies and other brightly colored annuals. In Burlingame, the same, there are porches that have many pumpkins and season decor.  Today is Halloween and being here in Fresno, I feel the joy of pumpkin carving, thinking about costumes and something warm and easy for dinner.  I also recall fondly, when I was young, our mother and father making chile and easy to eat meals so that we could go out trick or treating and also eagerly return home to give out candy.....I wanted to do both. Sometimes I also experience the mad dash in the Holiday season, trying to get it all done: decorations, shopping, finishing my year strong for my career in sales and wanting things to be perfect.  In this moment, I let go of tomorrow, I sip my coffee, enjoy the quiet of JP's home and breathe in gratitude. Happy Halloween.

Let It Be

 Let is be is a common mantra I say to myself when I am here in Fresno.  Often my brother has one way to do something and I might do it completely different, let it be.  I ask the boys a simple question and they choose to roll their eyes or seem irritated and I say to myself let it be.  This morning as I was making the bed and seeing all kinds of candy wrappers on the floor and wondering of the eating choices,  my mantra popped into my mind, let it be. Shirley, my beloved mother, must have thought that so often with 9 children.  So many things, personalities and ways of being that may be different than our own, let it be.  The Beatles' song, Let it be was more true than I ever realized, there will be an answer sometimes it is to just let it be.

Let It Be, Let It Be and in the letting it be there is peace. #letitbe, #peace, #acceptance

Healthy Habits bringing Light!

 Today is the day to practice healthy habits to bring light to my life. 

So far so good. Reading, meditation, restorative yoga, water and oatmeal topped with pomegranate seeds ....coffee too.  Now my continued desire for daily blogging/online journaling and more water.  Awakening this morning my mind, body and spirit into the oneness, wholeness, and healing from within. Letting my light shine today in this moment so that the light in me becomes the light in thee. 

The rain has stopped

 The rain has stopped, the air is clear, the damage unknown and life goes on for those unaffected. My friend Diane lost power and so to my delight she came over yesterday to power up her generator and download some movies. Today, still no power in some areas, and Diane will work with me here in our little cottage. California has not had rain in 200 days and even the rain 200 days ago was not sufficient to water the earth. Then, the earth was so dry, the water "sprinkles" could not penetrate the parched land. However, this past weekend, 10 inches in a short time can penetrate and wreak havoc.  Trees down, power down, mudslides, flooding and yet I am sure the earth is singing! I too sing alleluia to have Diane join me as we work together - she in the living room and me in my guest room/sewing room/office. The versatility of our cottage, that too a reason to sing.

The games we play

One of the great joys of my life, is purging.  My family fears when I come to their homes as I often want to purge other people's stuff too.  Well, it is fun for me.  I find it to be satisfying to create space from giving things away.  Another joy of mine is a game I play: my objective is to use up everything in the fridge, freezer or from friends' gardens. I do not like waste.  I create meals from what I have in the fridge and cupboards and what I forage from neighbors with gardens, in this case my friend Susan.  Susan's garden has been a blessing this whole summer. She has shared lettuces, tomatoes, basil, peppers, squash, pomegranates, lemons, limes, figs, carrots, onions, shallots, garlic, beans, and soon it appears she will have yams and persimmons.

Where do I start - the game of living off the land, off the random leftovers in the fridge, the joy of creating using only what you have?  It is all fun and play for me.  Joe left on a golf trip Friday and I made up my mind that I will enjoy the week with no grocery shopping- using only what we have on hand....which is not much since I secretly been playing this game for some months.  Joe and I travel between Burlingame and Fresno and I do not want any food to be wasted and therefore we buy just enough.  With the slim pickens in the fridge, freezer and cupboard with and Susan's prolific garden I have been able to have friends for dinner on Friday and more than enough to have another friend on Saturday. In this game that I play, not only do I practice moderation in eating, I have found great joy in creating delicious menus for my friends. Below I have made using dad's homemade redbud and grape jelly, thumb drop cookies. With Susan's spaghetti squash and kales, I created a pasta dish. Enjoying her lettuce, carrot, herbs and tomatoes in a salad and figs are part of the appetizer. Yummy and fun.

Here are some photos for your enjoyment. The one at the beginning of this blog is my little home office aka guest bedroom/office where I write my blog, sip my coffee and this morning enjoy the tulips from Di on Friday and the roses from Melanie on Saturday night and blended together beautifully. 

Shout for JOY!

 Shout out for joy as it is raining in Burlingame, CA.  The air will clear, the leaves will dance, the grass will grow and all will be shouting alleluia.  We have not had rain in so long it is a welcome gift. These tears from heaven to heal our tears on earth.

I am so happy, Joe is so happy we opened our back door early this morning just to listen to the falling rain. It was gentle, just right to soften the earth so that the water might slowly penetrate the parched earth. Today, in this moment, hearing the rain, I shall sing alleluia and shout for JOY!

We are healed

Together, Daniel and I went on his first St. Vincent De Paul home visit. This was years ago as Daniel has now been our conference president for several years and before that a new member. Maybe it was 10 years ago when we had the occasion to go to see two men who had just left a group rehabilitation or halfway home to live together in an apartment that was provided by their program. They called our St Vincent De Paul's local office requesting some pots and pans. Our protocol for a home visit is to go in pairs, to be with those in need and to help them. I don't recall their names, I do recall their love. I often recall their love as a reminder of my own vocation in St. Vincent De Paul "SVDP" as I am sharing this morning.

Daniel had just joined us, signing up during our St. Catherine's ministry drive. Daniel was maybe 30 years old at the time and he along with several other young new members was refreshing and life giving to our aging conference. (Conference is how we refer to our local parish community that participates in our SVDP.)  I wanted our home visit to these men to be exemplary and follow the training I had received/learned during the SVDP Ozanam Orientation. So before we went to meet with these two men that had been assigned as roommates and whom had requested pots and pans, Daniel and I met at the church, obtained the voucher for household goods and then drove over to the apartment. Before leaving our vehicle, we prayed together. In our prayer we asked to be compassionate to be present, generous and to be open to their needs.

We prayed the beautiful Vincentian prayer

Prayer before a Visit

Father, we ask you to provide
all that we need
as we do the work you have given us to do. 

Fill our hearts with your love;
help us to listen with compassion
and to speak with kindness and confidence. 

Jesus, we pray for the grace
to go without our preconceived judgments
so that we can be true peacemakers. 

Stir in us the fire of your love
and guide us with discernment. 

Fill our hearts with wisdom, generosity
and kindness.

Holy Spirit, inspire us
with joy and patience.

Be at work in us
so that we will
bring good news to the downcast,
healing to the brokenhearted,
hope to the destitute,
love and compassion to all who are suffering.

Amen.

 We walked up the stairs, and knocked on their door. They both came to the door and we all introduced ourselves. They invited us into their humble and empty apartment. These men had nothing and they had only requested pots/pans.  We saw that they needed furniture, beds, dishes, sheets, towels, household goods....they only asked for pots and pans. These men we not young, they had years of suffering, addiction and experience beyond knowing. With nowhere to sit, I suggested we just sit on the floor and discuss their situation and also maybe pray.   The older man, with white hair and beard had piercing blue eyes looked at all of us and said, gently and quietly, "I know the Confiteor." He then immediately led us in this prayer that is from Catholic doctrine, meaning to Confess, or acknowledge.

Here is the prayer he said:

I confess to almighty God
and to you, my brothers [and sisters],
that I have greatly sinned,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done and in what I have failed to do,
through my fault, through my fault,
through my most grievous fault;
therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin,
all the Angels and Saints,
and you, my brothers [and sisters],
to pray for me to the Lord our God.

I know that in that moment, I was healed, I was forgiven and I was in the presence of God. It is this home visit that continues to fortify my commitment to the service and love we provide as Vincentians, a name used for members of SVDP. I have come to know that in my personal struggles, God heals through one another ...open your eyes and hearts to the other and be healed. #stvincentdepaul, #love, #service, #healing

Daily Inspirations

 St. Benedict's life has been an inspiration to how I want to live. Not too many years ago, Matthew, one of my nephews went to boarding school at Subiaco, Arkansas. While Matthew was attending this beautiful school in the Ozarks of Arkansas I became intrigued by the Benedictine Order. "The Rule," is  essentially a guide to holiness and happiness.  Much of what I took from reading a book by Sr. Joan Chittister OSB,  "Wisdom, Distilled from the Daily, Living The Rule of St. Benedict Today." In her book she describes the way of life practiced by the Benedictine Order which includes a balance of:

Listening

Prayer

Community

Humility

Monastic Mindfulness

Work

Holy Leisure

Giftedness

Hospitality

Obedience

Stability

Monastic Practices

Peace

Monastic Vision

While I continue strive to be a better person, the above lists helps me see areas in my life that need improvement "practice" and balance.  I also find in the writing of this blog post, that just reflecting upon each of the above helps me to recall what is most important, experience this moment of peace and mindfulness on this list.  This moment  I have peace, stability, prayer and am listening to God.#joanchittister #subiaco #benedictineorder

https://stellamaris.nsw.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/benedictine-way-of-life.pdf

Reflecting on some moments

 Now that I am done crying, I can reflect on what happened. This morning, while letting my nephew drive us to school, I gave suggested that since there was a red light ahead he might want to start coasting. He is still a new driver and working with a driver's permit only, said well that is not what I am supposed to do. "In order to the pass the test, I need to keep my speed at the speed limit," he declared.  Well I lost my cool and told him, "I have 40 years of driving experience and slowing down for an upcoming red light was more appropriate and that Joe could practice driving with him heretofore!" I was so mad so angry so upset, I just escalated my thoughts into, you don't respect me.....  Now, after 2 hours of crying, anger, reflection, prayers and time, I realize I had no reason to be upset, as I made the presumption he did not respect me, when in reality, he was just stating what he thinks the rules of the road are. I wish I had the chance to redo this morning. If I had a redo, I would have just offered my driving guidance, accepted my nephew's response and let go.  I would have placed no judgment on his response and the morning moments would have gone in peace.  My outburst was rooted in anger instead of love. Oh dear, with all my practices of meditation, living in the moments, this mornings moments were not my best. I am forgiving myself in this moment and will seek forgiveness from my nephew when he returns from school. Maybe he will have already forgiven me or forgotten! 

The pace of Daisy

 The pace of Daisy allows me to stop, smell the roses and to enjoy a slower pace as I walk. As a result of walking Daisy, my brother's beautiful dog I met Olive and her mother Jenny and their new puppy Biscuit, I met Jim and his little dog Joey and several others as I walked at Daisy's pace.  My life is usually made of me rushing from event to event, meeting to meeting, pose to pose (yoga) and not really fully being present to any of it. With Daisy, she slows me me down, she allows me to be in each moment, each prayer and I feel happier with every step with Daisy. I am able to have good confession with God, to ask, to seek and to find resolutions to my questions and struggles. Towards the end of my gradual, slow pace with Daisy, the song in my heart sings to me, "Let us build a city to God, may our tears be turned into laughter, for the Lord, our Light and our Love has turned the night into day!"  This song by Dan Schutte is how God spoke to me today. Thank you Daisy, your pace is just right. #danschutte #slowerpace #walking #dogs

Give me a shout

 "Give me a shout," an expression by my nephews' Uncle Mark when he wants them to call him.  During my prayers this morning, I was reflecting on how my beloved God often whispers to me sweetness, ideas and wisdom. Joe and I  have been helping my brother JP with his three boys. We are the guardians when JP is flying for Southwest. I think these boys are pretty perfect little beings, however, on occasion, the perfections get tarnished a bit and they need guidance, advice maybe correction with ways of being that are not so perfect. Alas, this morning while I poured my coffee and wanted to chat with one of  these perfect little boys, he was irritated that I should interrupt him to ask him to remove his earphones and turn off the video to check in with me about the schedule for the day. In his irritation, my feelings got hurt, I walked away, shed a tear and then ....God shouted....."go back" and "ask again." When I went back to the kitchen, I did ask again and to my delight, my nephew set his earphones aside, turned off the video (ipad) and came and sat with me at the breakfast table. Sometimes God gives us a shout, THANK YOU GOD!!!  

Neighbors

Pam is a lady who walks her dog Rocky and always stops to chat and check on JP and boys. Richard is a neighbor who rides his motorized bicycle he built himself and waves as he passes by. Robert lives next door and always smiles as we come and go from our homes. Joe and I come each week to Fresno to be with JP's boys. School has started and so it is more quiet as they are back in the classroom. Joe takes care of shopping, cooking, driving and repairing. I do laundry, zoom calls and continue to work full time for PwC and walk the dog, Daily.  As our "nanny/manny McPhee life" as we call our roles/life has evolved, we are becoming more and more a part of the community here and I am getting to know our neighbors.  I find that my joy is expanded as I come to see and know people in the neighborhood. Neighbors have always been an important part of what brings me joy. Knowing the people you live near, next door to and on your walks creates in me a feeling of belonging.  I am grateful for these neighbors. 

Fresh Flowers

 Our world is suffering in every way, shape and form. From climate changes causing horrific fires, floods, droughts and death, world threats, the continuing pandemic and all its variants including humans taking risks impacting themselves and others, earthquakes and all matters of mother nature being herself amidst living with a human species that is defiant.  Experiencing daily life has its own challenges unique to each person and independant and sometimes dependent on differences of opinions. Amidst all this and all my worries, my brother's housekeeper came and beautiful his home/our home. Her presence a gift, just her being her lifted on my spirit and inspired me to go out and buy fresh flowers.  Save Mart had a special so I bought 4 bunches and came home and cut and arranged them into whatever pretty little vases/mugs I could find. I then placed them around JP's home in the dining area, living are and bathrooms for all to enjoy.  Fresh flowers so simple, so pretty, so healing and well a little splurge to enjoy. #Save Mart, #freshflowers, #inspiration #c&glifecoaching

The Earthworm

 Earthworms help the soil heal. Today while on my walk with Daisy, my brother's dog, I saw an earthworm on the sidewalk about 2 feet from soil and 1 foot from the curb. I could not stop thinking that I should help that earthworm find its way back home to the soil. I kept walking and thinking I should help that earthworm. Then I thought I always pray what I can do for our world and so there was a small twig on the ground on that same sidewalk. I picked it up and I turned around and I went back to the earthworm that I had found, and I let it wrap itself around the twig and placed it on the soil....back home in the soil. So happy my prayers were answered,  take care of the world in front of you. As I walked happily back home, I realized that in addition to the earthworm's safe return, the sidewalk needed tidying up from the litter others had left. I gathered trash/litter in Daisy's unused poop bag and made my way home. The world is in turmoil: climate issues, Haiti's tragedy, Taliban concerns, pandemic variants, racism, and so much more beyond my knowing. What I do know is that the difference I can make is my attitude, my care and my love for the world right here in front of me. The earthworm called me into action. THANK YOU little earthworm because of you, the soil is richer, our street is cleaner, my heart is happier and I am feeling grateful.

Slow Down

 Slow down is my on going mantra and it is especially resonating this morning.  I was out driving my nephew to his school orientation and it seemed as though my cautious slow driving resulted in everyone passing me and tailgating. Alas I just went about my pace knowing we ample time.  As I drove back alone after dropping off Nathaniel I was just reflecting on why we are all in such a hurry.  Is it that we are trying to squeeze in too much and at what expense: health, stress, car accidents and missing the little moments of peace.  For me, today, I will continue practice to slow down and perhaps recognize in the little moments, the peace I seek. #slowdown #theblueheron #littlemoments #peace

Listening to the Inner Voice

 Yesterday my inner voice guided me to do a very gentle yoga practice often called restorative. Indeed it was restorative. I had a stressful day yesterday as I returned to work following a wonderful vacation in Arkansas.  My work day had too many emails, too many meetings and too much "grind."  I am using "grind" as it just felt like that yesterday. My inner voice reminds me two things: 1. be ok in this moment and 2. this too shall pass. My inner voice yesterday and on Sunday softly said "Fear Not" and "Do Not Fret."  As a result of my listening to the Inner Voice, I began to review poses for a restorative yoga practice and also did a meditation and then culminated the evening with leading the restorative practice. The more I pause and listen to the inner voice, the more I discover that I am being led to the peace that God wants for me.  I also am discovering that I can step away from the worry and fear and just be in the divine peace.  I am grateful hearing the whispers of the Divine that have become a soft gentle sweet voice that beckons me with wisdom to care for mySELF so that I might become the peace that I long for and that my little world needs.

Daily Rituals

 Today I begin again, like every day, with good intentions for health and overall well being. So far a walk with Daisy, a meditation with Deepak Chopra and drinking a full glass of water. As I near the age 60 and I am committing myself to better health and care for mind, body and soul.  The best way for me is to create daily rituals that inspire my aspirations for well being.  I have just returned from a wonderful family vacation that was filled with fun, swimming, games, museums trips, eating, walking, fishing, cooking, creating art, gardening and so much more. As I reflect back upon the week, each day started with "coffee confab" with dad, Bridget, Katie and others brothers and sisters who came over to dad's to join us. That is the ritual that began when we all started drinking coffee as young adults and now well into our 50's and 60's we find time to relax, chat and laugh while sipping dad's great coffee. Our next ritual was to plan the day's events so that the vacation for the kids (our nephews and nieces) would be fun and organized.  The days raced by and yet there were moments when one could putz in garden, stroll to pool, sit on the grass and just be.....I long for the time to just be.  I am now back to work and fully engaged in getting to emails, organizing my calendar and realizing, I can make time to be, I just need to schedule:)  For now, my ritual in the mornings will include walking Miss Daisy, meditating with Deepak and drinking water so that I can engage fully in my career. #balancedlife, #dailyrituals, #peace

Productivity

 I find that being productive is energizing.  As the day goes by the more I get done the more I actually get done. The same is true for exercising, the more I exercise the more I exercise. Maybe this is inertia once in motion we stay in motion. My life is full and filled with many opportunities to be productive: serving the poor as a member of St. Vincent De Paul service, doing laundry, walking, working at PwC, creating activities for the boys...I just got interrupted from my thought due to a miscommunication with the boys on the schedule and was just making peace.  As I just let that moment go, I come back to writing in this moment.  All is good. Living in the moments, now that is a productive way to live. 

Writing to practice writing

 Yes, I am writing just to write. I long to be able to write a daily blog and then I don't. I use a list of competing work priorities as my excuse. This is the essentially my biggest challenge, even my closest friends know it.....letting go, letting go, letting go.  What do I need to let go of, the need for more. I worry about not having enough money, and I worry that if I leave my big girl career, I will not be the Gretchen you know or I know. Underneath my exterior defense of financial security, I am woman who is simple. I  make meals of practically nothing in the fridge into something even JP's boys love. I am a woman who can take fabric samples and turn them into pretty quilts. I am a woman who can take flowers and bush clippings and turn them into arrangements of great beauty. I am a woman who goes to sleep with rosary in her hand, falling asleep before I finish the opening Our Father. I am a woman who loves her husband, her family, her friends and the sound of birds singing. I am woman who longs to leave my career and is overcome with fear.  Catherine Heath, my sister, coach and friend reminds me to "Fear Not" and "Make Choices that Bring Joy" and ask questions that go right to the root challenge.....letting go, letting go, letting go.  In my practice of writing this morning, in this short blog, I have come to know myself by just letting the words flow, the thoughts be typed here and the answer revealed: I am a woman who needs to LET GO!#letting go  #practice writing #  https://www.candglifecoaching.com/blog

Day 3 Whole Food Diet Let It Shine

"This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!"  A song my sister and coach Catherine sang as a voicemail message. I am inspired by her love, coaching and cheerleading.  The day begins with grace, good intention and hope.  Today, day 3 all is well. I did well yesterday on my whole foods diet. Yesterday I ate watermelon, peach and banana. I had salad and salmon and for dinner a yummy Italian sausage and salad and well, some leftover corn casserole that Jeri Techman had made on Monday.  I had two sips of Joe's ice cold beer and water.  I am feeling so good, my skin is looking good and I feel light as a feather.  This whole foods diet that I am doing for 13 days is teaching so much about what I am capable of accomplishing just by committing, trying and practicing self control.  So today, Day 3, 7:40am so far so good: water with lemon, coffee with a small amount of cream and we begin today and a song in my heart "Let it Shine."

Day 2 Health

It is twelve days before I turn 58 and I continue on my healthy plan. I am trying to make these next few posts  an online journal about the journey to moderation, eating right and self control. I am interested in the fact that I am writing just as I am thinking and I used the word self control.  Yesterday I had to have good self control to not eat all of the goodies in JP's home. Conor made a yummy pizza for lunch, it smelled so good, alas I maintained my self control and had my little salad sans dressing. Self Control is something I have always admired in people. Self Control is something I aspire to have. I see people who have self control are able to manage emotions, particularly anger and frustration with ease. They keep their cool. I get worried, I get angry, I get frustrated, I get mad and it's all out there.  Here I am writing about my healthy plan to discover that better health comes from better self control which in turns brings a better Gretchen.  It is only 6:25am and Day 2 is beginning. Right now I am doing pretty good with my self control and healthy eating.#selfcontrol #healthyeating

Walked into peace

 This morning I woke up inspired to be healthy. I turn 58 on June 13 and am starting a whole food diet for the next 13 days. My gift to myself is improve my health and well being. I started with 5 sun salutations that included a warrior flow. I am here in Fresno so I took Daisy for a walk. As I began the walk I was distracted by my thoughts  and the further I walked the more I was called to just be and to enjoy walking. With every step I was aware of the moments: the cool morning, the birds singing,  the green grass and bright flowers. I realized the more I was in every moment, every moment became fuller. My breathing slowed, my mental chatter quieted and my awareness was present and peaceful.  Even as I conclude this blog,  my mind and inspiration turned to being and realized I walked into peace. #peacefulmoments

Cottage "Le Cottage"

 We live in a small cottage in Burlingame, CA.  "Le Cottage" in french will be the name as I recently read in a book one should name their home to define identity and character. I love that idea and since I have a french country interior and love many things of France, I have chosen Le Cottage. The name is also inspired by our most wonderful friends Alan and Rosalie who frequently came to visit and dubbed our home "Cottage Living."  Combining our love of the name "cottage living" with our love of France,  especially the french friends including and not limited to:  Pierre, Sophie, Charlotte and their families, we found Le Cottage to suit us and define our lifestyle. Joe and I are blessed to have so many friends we have met from France, some who now live in America and some who come for visits and all whom have shared their French life with us.  I learn from the French how to eat simply and elegantly. I have watch how the French  create vignettes within their homes to create beauty and that bring pleasure. I have learned to appreciate beauty in nature by bringing fresh flowers and plants inside. Of course, I cannot leave that we learn from the French of  leisurely dinners and wine and cheese.  Today, my blog was inspired by my desire to design my retirement lifestyle. Which will not be retirement at all, it will be LIVING FULLY, recognizing  beauty in everyone and in everything and sometimes take photographs and writing about my experience.  Today, I enjoy our Le Cottage. Photos are outside, inside and with Zachary, our nephew who made dinner and served it in our little family room in 2019.

Good Shepherd Sunday

Today is Good Shepherd Sunday, a day in our Catholic Easter Tradition to celebrate Jesus' role as Good Shepherd. Our priest during the 5pm mass spoke of the vocation to priesthood for men. In my mind I wanted to say men and women, however, in my heart and prayer God called to mind that we are all called to be good shepherds. My life has been filled with many good shepherds, first and foremost, my God "Jesus." My own father, Vernon has been my shepherd. He has been a gentle soul from my youth and to today.  My father has been my source of comfort, support and a role model in so many ways of service. My mother, now deceased, still shepherd's me with her mantras like "the better my attitude, the better my day," waking us in the morning, with "this is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and get up," and "brush your teeth you will feel better." My sisters and brothers have been my shepherd during times when I needed help in a variety of ways, most especially during the suffering from breakups with boy friends, life's disappointments and even in sharing my successes.   My husband, my beloved Joe, even named after St. Joseph, Jesus' father. My Joe as I affectionately refer to him is a very good shepherd to me and to our family. How do I shepherd? I think of Jamie and Roxanna and now my brother's boys. I see that I have times when I am the sheep and when I become the shepherd. This blog was to be about Holy Communion, for in attending the 5pm mass I felt so happy to be with our St. Catherine's community and in sharing communion, I was uplifted deeply. In the going, and being with community, I realized how often the people of St. Catherine's have shepherded me over my 35 years as part of St. Catherine's "flock," when on occasion, the only reason I showed up was to be held by community. The shepherd of our St. Catherine's in the formal sense is Fr. Ryan who has taught all of us how to be good shepherd's by his life as good shepherd and our pastor.