Life and Death

As today comes to an end I reflect on life and death. I went to visit my friend Kathy Murphy, who is close to death.  I attended a beautiful church service via Zoom, and heard my good friend Sara Conant and her children Rosie, Wilson and Mattie sing, play guitar and do hand movements for Peace is Flowing Like a River, a song that invokes what we need most. Our neighbor Tom dropped by to share that he is surviving cancer despite what doctors told him and enjoyed his 60th wedding anniversary with his bride Barbara. Our other friends' children: Emily and Olivia Murphy,  drove by as I was working in our garden and shouted out "hi", and then stopped to visit. They returned later on their walk with their beloved parents and friends to connect. We had a zoom call with our good friends Alan, Rosalia, Pierre and Sophie and connected from Boston, MA to Kirkland, WA. I picked loquats from our tree and plan to make jelly. I realized all the while, people are grieving loss, enjoying food and walk, worried about jobs and future, caring for parents and friends who are sick and dying and others just walking by without a care in the world.  The world is full of everything and all emotions at all times and sometimes we become aware of all the emotions of the world, today for me was one of those times. I was fully aware that the world had suffering, joy, loss, anger, calm, fun, freedom, isolation, loneliness, sorrow and other emotional experiences as a result of personal situations and world situations.  My world opened today to many others' personal worries and experiences. Today instead of me I was aware of Thee. I want to recall that in life there is death, in life there is joy and sorrow, in life there are experiences beyond what I can imagine nor endure and yet in life there are people who love, care and stand by each other. I want to be someone who stands by you in all your experience that I become awake to what you are going through. I want to be in life and in death for you.


Kathy Murphy, my San Mateo Mother, and mother to my best friends the Murphy children: Shelia, Toby, Martha, Moira, Tim and Barbara. My 20's were spent hanging with the Murphy children and their parents.

The night turns to day

My mornings are often filled with a calm that I love. I get up early to be with Joe before he departs for United which gives me the opportunity to watch night turn into day. The sun rising slowly and the shades of light changing the appearance of the landscape is amazing. I often open my back door so that I can hear the morning song of birds, the gentle rustle of leaves and sometimes, in the distance, a Caltrain whistle.  I love the morning. We wake up refreshed as we practice a regular sleep time and routine as suggested by all of the health experts.  Joe and I have been enjoying the beginning of a Calm app sleep meditation. It puts us to sleep within minutes so we have never really heard any of the stories from beginning to end.  The calm before the day inspires me to meditate, to write, to putz, to pray and to be. This quote from Henry David Thoreau resonates with me.

"The morning, which is the most memorable season of the day, is the awakening hour. Then there is least somnolence in us; and for an hour, at least, some part of us awakes which slumbers all the rest of the day and night... All memorable events, I should say, transpire in morning time and in a morning atmosphere. The Vedas say, "All intelligences awake with the morning." #Calm

Warmth of womb

I desire to be tucked into the “warmth of womb.” The stresses of our global community,  our local community and my community: family, friends and those I serve as part of my St. Vincent De Paul vocation, are weighing heavy on my mind, heart and in my  body. In speaking to my sister Catherine Heath this morning, who is also my professional coach, she suggested I take time for myself and consider the warmth of the womb.  This imagery and remembrance of our mother’s womb, a time where we are tucked inside the human body near the heart and major organs, so close to someone as this being in our mother’s womb, lifts the heaviness I am feeling.   Over the past few days I have experienced a deep longing to be tucked in closer to family and friends. I feel today how many have been feeling for the past months. We are separated from one another as we shelter in place, no hugs, no physicality, no feeling the warmth and love of human touch.    When shelter in place started in March, I relished the idea to hide and shelter,  enjoying the quiet and solitude. Now, as shelter in place continues, longer than I expected, I desire to be with others. I see how Adam, from the garden of life story, wanted companionship and touch.  Having another, being loved by another, being tucked in to another consubstantiates the warmth of the womb. This is what I desire, to be tucked into the warmth of womb.

Zachary, musician, chef, friend and nephew

Last night Joe and I enjoyed a Michelin star meal. Curry chicken thighs made by Zachary.  Zachary has come to be with us for a few days while my brother is flying for Southwest. Thank God people are still traveling so that my brother has his career.  Also this makes for an opportunity to host Zachary for a few days here in Burlingame. While Joe and I are still working, me from home, I needed to keep Zachary on task. This included getting english "Romeo and Juliet" paper written, completing math graphs and listening to music and writing his observations.  His writing, which I read, demonstrates his deep appreciation for beautiful music. When all that was done, he asked what was for lunch and dinner. Well I had already defrosted chicken thighs and suggested he could make something. He said what shall I make and I suggested thinking about it in terms of Asia, French, and immediately he said "let's make curry."  So he found a recipe, walked to the store to get the necessary ingredients, and returned home. I stopped my afternoon work day to make our lunch, walk to the park and enjoy a little picnic together. We then took a walk to the bank and home again.  As I continued my work day, he found things to do around the house including watching tv. At the end of our day, roughly 6pm, Zachary donned an apron and with aplomb began to tell me what we need too do. He was Chef and I his sous chef. We worked together, under his direction, I chopped, braised, he chopped and got spices ready, we created a most amazing, delicious meal.  Then upon my surprise, he wanted to set the table. I grabbed stable cloth and he set, placed and created a most beautiful table setting. We turned on Indian music to go with our dinner theme and sat and chatted about food, wine, my mother, his grandma, our life and well a good friend I have made in my nephew Zachary.

Working from home

 I am grateful to be working for PwC, a company with great leadership, interesting work and commitment to the employees and our clients. I am also grateful that my beloved husband is still able to go to work as a United Airlines mechanic. As we all learn to work from home including having meetings using video technologies there is a hesitancy to not use the video function. At first I did not really want to be seen on the video camera as it seemed awkward and intrusive. However, the more I tried using it, the more I enjoyed the connection, even more than in person meetings. I surmise that by peering into others' home offices we see the other as more human.  I have see beautiful curated  spaces that are clean, simple, elegant, comfortable and inviting. Several home offices display their childrens' art, others have musical instruments and still others have bookshelves filled with books to far from camera to actually see titles.  As we all become more comfortable using video capabilities with colleagues and clients, it inspires a new way to work that has created a level of relationship that is truly more personal.  Working from home also gives us more time to work and less time to be in traffic, maybe even less stress.  Working from home also seems to inspire longer days as we hop on the computer early and have meetings that go back to back all day to evening. I am grateful that working from home also allows for us to make our lunch and eat with our families and maybe even get in a daily form of exercise.  As we shelter in place and work from home, earth is getting her rest, skies are bluer, air seems cleaner and people seem calmer.  We pray for those who are ill, for all who care for those who are ill and most of all for those who are lonely. I hope we return to connecting in person for all things personal and continue to work from home for that type of work that is possible.#returntowork

Bike Riding

The sun was shining brightly this past weekend inspiring a bike ride. Joe got the bikes out, pumped up the tires, dusted the pollens off the seats and off we went. We had no plans of where to go, so we chose to just roam the neighborhood. We took a road that led to an uphill climb, and then left turn to go back down to even ground. We felt the sunshine on our faces, we passed people walking, others riding bikes and humanity filled with joy. What is humanity filled with joy look like? For me, it is smiling families walking, riding bikes and being together. It is nature's abundance springing and  showing off in all her glory. It is roaming the neighborhood on streets we never knew and seeing front yards filled with beauty. It is seeing children and parents creating chalk art for us to see. It is stopping on our bikes to smell the roses. It is playing hopscotch and jumping alphabet blocks drawn with instructions to hop each block on one foot. It is no schedule, no destination, it is fresh air on our face, sunshine in the sky and a bike to ride. I have never been unhappy on a bike ride, maybe this is the cure we all need.