What will you be?

"The atomic bomb in the hands of a Francis of Assisi (canonized saint in 1228), would be less harmful than a pistol in the hand of a thug; what makes the bomb dangerous is not the energy it contains, but the man who uses it."  Fulton J. Sheen in Peace of Soul.

We continue to have great suffering and tragedy in the world and often the reaction is a movement towards changing some policy,  specifically our most recent gun control policy due to the tragic Florida shooting at a high school where the current death toll includes 17 children and teachers.  In a world filled with weapons of all sorts, and people who are dissatisfied with life, wrought with depression, and world leaders/companies filled with greed for more money, power and prestige, what we need is peace. What that young man needed was someone to see him as a child, and young adult who was crying out in desperation.  Behind this young man is a whole society who participated by not recognizing and seeing by not being present by being lost in our own minds.

Modern man is locked in a prison of the mind desiring attention, love, things, experience and ideas that lead to coming up empty, angry and lost.  Unlocking the suffering starts with ourselves. Being part of the solution includes opening our eyes to our own personal greed, desires and anger and transforming ourselves. We can be the love and healing the world needs, one person at a time.  As we open our eyes to the world we can see the suffering, deprived and lonely. We can be the one person who may offer the smile, a helping hand and our presence to change the world one person at a time.   Gun control may or may not be part of answer. What I know for sure is that LOVE, KINDNESS, COMPASSION and SERVICE are the answer. What will we be.....for our world?

Fear Not

Fear not is a common quote from Jesus.  It is on my mind today because I just read an article about fear in Catholic San Francisco, our local catholic newspaper. In the article titled Some fear is salutary, Fr. John Catoir quotes John Newton who wrote Amazing Grace, "T'was grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved."  These lyrics resonate with me as I often feel that fear keeps me from really living fully.  I seek the grace to live with a balance of healthy fear: fear that I can't do enough to help the poor and those most in need and fearlessness to live in ways that inspire and help versus intrude and enable. I want enough fear to always act with integrity and enough courage to live with congruence to my values.  I also think about this as my little nephew has the opportunity to go on a trip to Ireland and seems a bit fearful. The world has turmoil and always will. I just hope that he is inspired to make his choice from a place of adventure versus fear.  Are we people who inspire adventure, love and joy or do we deflate ideas and fertilize fear. In these times with so much information readily available as life's events unfold, it is not surprising to see how we can become more fearful. However, to live fully, and faithfully, I pray for my nephew to have the grace enough to have his fears relieved.

My new pad of paper….no longer resisting happiness

While I would say I am a happy person, in fact, quite joy filled, there is one area that I can’t deny and that is related to denial itself. I often deny myself little incremental items that I know I would love to use, for example, my new notepad.  I was in between meetings yesterday in San Francisco and saw a big 70% off poster on the Papyrus store of Embarcadero 2. I walked in and there were these beautiful notepads.  I bought several thinking these will make lovely gifts for friends and family. Truthfully, I wanted one for myself.  Normally I would tuck them away for a rainy day birthday gift or Christmas gift, however, today, this morning, I felt different.   I unwrapped the cellophane packaging for this beautiful colorful notepad and I am using it. I touched it, I smiled, I wrote short list of things to be done, added a few more to the list, completed 1 item on the list: calling my sister Bridget and telling her about my new pad of paper.  I am so happy with this little incremental $1.78 notepad, I can hardly contain my joy.  I did not deny myself, I did not resist joy and in fact while I am still a happy person, this morning, I am just a little bit happier, a little more productive and now I check off my list “Blog today.”  What are you resisting that will bring you just a little more happiness?

My house is flooding

My former next door neighbors moved to a new home 1.6 miles away. Prior to their move, we had the pleasure of seeing Sara, Rob, Wilson and Rosemary “Rosie” almost every day on their way to school, church, park, on their bikes or just hearing them over the fence playing.  Yesterday they invited me over for a little playtime on their new trampoline, to share an al fresco dinner, paste flower decals on the bedroom wall, symbolic of friendship,  and to help them with their evening routine: putting on jammies, brushing teeth, washing face, tucking into bed and reading a story. Since I did not have my reading glasses, Rosie read to me. Wilson drew in his little journal and Sara, the mom, brought another book from Wilson’s room to read called, How Full Is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer.  As it was getting late, and too late for another story, Rosie began to summarize the book, How Full Is Your Bucket and after her brief summary, she exclaimed, “my house is flooding!”  I knew and felt the same way, our love for each other, her brother Wilson, mom Sara and dad Rob, the fun jumping on the trampoline, thoughtful reading, joy of decorating her bedroom wall, and the shear peace and love present last evening, we knew, YES indeed, the house was flooding.  Wishing you a Full Bucket, so full that your house floods with love, fun, joy and peace.

The Road to Emmaus

Over the weekend we attended Doug and Salwa’s wedding in Lodi. Doug is our neighbor’s most lovely and kind son.  It was a beautiful event and a peaceful weekend.  On Sunday while Joe was checking out of our hotel in Stockton, I was standing outside, enjoying the warm weather and sun on my face. There was a man that was walking towards me, small in stature, smiling as he passed, roughly 60 years old. As he passed we exchanged smiles, his was contagious and I was already filled with a joyful glow of a lovely weekend. After he passed and rounded the corner it dawned on me that perhaps He was Jesus. I recall another time in 2001, after mass at St. Catherine’s, a mysterious man approached, also with a smile and he handed me a book:  He and I, by Gabrielle Bossis, translated and condensed by Evelyn M Brown.  I have not thought about that day since just now, and I went to my bookshelf and I had kept this book. So many of my books I pass along, however this one I kept.  I had written in the front of the book, the date I received it and the name of the man who gave it to me: Dominus. I only know his name, as I had never seen him and thought he must be new to our parish and so I asked him his name as I thanked him for the book.  I never saw him again. It was as random as I am describing, a man, walks up hands me a book, I ask his name, He tells me  and then I never see him again. My good friend Pierre told me Dominus translated from Latin means Master.  This brings me to my insight for this blog:  were those two occasions my own road to Emmaus, where I spend a brief moment with Jesus and not realize it until later? Have you had an Emmaus experience?  OK, you won’t believe the end of this blog, as I was leafing through the pages of the book He and I, before returning it to my bookshelf, a book mark fell out, with this quote from St. Augustine: “and he departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold, He is here.”

Love as our purpose

I'm inspired tonight to consider that my/our purpose is to love.  When doubts about life, career, family, passions, purpose and all of those deep questions arise about what I should be doing, where I should be heading, figuring out how to transform choices into something more meaningful, I remind myself, that for me it comes to one thing, my mission is to be loving.  While this is my blog, my place to share my thoughts, keep my on-line journal, this is one time when I truly believe that it is not just my purpose it is truly our purpose, to love.  At the end of this full day of meetings, calls, proposals, sales, and time with clients, family and friends, I say I am content for today I have loved, I felt loved, and I appreciate the love of all who I encountered in my life today.  This includes people with whom I work, family, friends, and those I met through chance/random encounters. I only wish for all to experience the daily loving that is happening even when we are unaware. Be aware, be present and feel the love.  Feel my love sent over the wires, through tweets, blogs, Facebook postings and my calls, letters, hugs and chance encounters. Sending love to all of you. PS If I died in this moment, all I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you.

Choices

Life is a matter of choice. I have made many choices, never knowing what is right, just choosing one way or another. Tonight I reflect on some of the major choices I have made: choosing my husband, choosing my career, choosing where to live, choosing life, choosing priorities, choosing to work hard, choosing service, choosing simplicity, choosing forgiveness and above all choosing love.