Rocking the Universe

This morning's meditation went too fast. Thirty minutes mostly filled with silence of monkey mind as a spontaneous rocking created a beautiful peaceful nurturing connection to all. My mind rested as my body practically rocked me into a peaceful connection to the universe from heaven to earth all was one. As this occurred I was not able nor did I want this sensation to stop. It felt to me as a deep oneness with the universe, a universe that needed to be held in the arms of the Father/Mother GOD to calm the struggles of the heart, mind, body, the world's sufferings. Oh that we realize that God is waiting to rock us into peace. Today, now I have a peaceful presence and a oneness with all. I find that I want to hold the universe in my arms and rock her into the peace that is.

After the Vacation

As I move into "real life," following a lovely week with my family, I find I am reflective on all we are as family. We are all good friends and enjoy and love each other. In the thick of "real life" I am missing the week together with the people I most love. I did my meditation this morning and while I try to sit in silence and just breathe my mind begins prayers of intention for each member to have peace, health and love. A deep gratitude fills my heart to over flowing and will sustain me for a long time after the vacation with my family. I feel a refreshment and renewal that brings a sense of commitment for the work and life that is. I am deeply blessed to be a part of our family and recognize that we are part of a greater family called the world.

Stop the Madness

Just returning from our family vacation in Fresno with my 31 family members, including 15 nieces and nephews, 4 brothers and 4 sisters, 4 spouses, 1 niece's husband and mom and dad. We had fun under the leadership of my amazing sister Bridget, who runs a camp like schedule including games and family trivia. We have been getting together for the past 5 years to celebrate JP and Jonna’s wedding, birthdays, baptisms, my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary and just being together as family in "communion." During our 5 or so days together we shared more joy than frustration, more freedom than control and more love than disappointment. There are times when-- with so many people together, much sun, and late nights--exhaustion and tension creep in. Matthew called it "stop the madness." I learned from the little ones how to “stop the madness,” they would say, “Aunt Gretchen, can we go to our room?” and there we would go to sit and rest, do yoga, watch TV and play Tropix on the computer. These little breaks where we "stopped the madness" enabled us to go back to the pool and to the others with a refreshed heart and renewed energy. Take time to stop the madness and go to your room where there is rest.

Nothing on my mind

Sometimes in writing whether it is in my beautiful yellow journal or my on-line blog I find a freeing of the mental gymnastics that goes on in my mind. As I write or type, as this case, my mind begins to let the thought go to paper so that the mind can make space for nothing. Can you imagine nothing on your mind, what a blessing that would be? I will say that I am finding that expressing what needs to be said, and with a thoughtful approach mostly in communication with others, there is a freedom. A freedom of allowing full honest expression to free my mind to be open to nothing. The alternative is to mull, analyze and in my case continue to worry about what others will say if I actually speak what's one my mind. Once said I have noticed that my mind can let go. Letting go of what is my mind onto paper (in this case cyberspace) creates space. I must end now as I have nothing on my mind, and I smile, notice my breathing and just am.

Lifting the Veil

My mind has been working this blog entry for at least a month if not most of my adult life. I have touched upon this concept in many of my blog entries but have not developed the depth as the more I ponder it, the deeper the possibilities. Articulating a clear message and or thought seems impossible even now. "Lifting the veil to reveal the Divine SELF" is my journey.

Lifting my veil is harder for me than peering through others' veils. I find that I enjoy knowing the depth of people and longing to help people lift their own veils to reveal their divine SELF. I know that God exists within all and through all, and as I peer through people's veils I see God in all His and Her suffering and glory.

This concept of lifting the veil is not a new concept. St. Theresa of Avila writes about it in book entitled The Interior Castle. She describes getting to know God as a journey through many mansions. My usual way to describe the veil is like layers of crusts or armor on our bodies created for protection from suffering, from a need to control our surroundings and from our need to protect the heart from pain. As we grow from children, these crusts develop as a defense mechanism from the hurt and pain that is part of life and yet these layers hide the beauty that is SELF.

There is a saint called the hugging Saint. They need only come to tiny Amma — the endearing nickname for Mata Amritanandamayi ("Mother of immortal bliss"). This woman from India, in my view has been able to lift her veil and love and serve humanity. Her ability to "literally" touch and hug people into well being is perhaps possible because her Divine SELF is more manifest than her human self. She has been able to remove the crusts and lift her veil to heal and be present to humanity. In reality because she has freed herself from fear, anxiety and a need for control she is deeply rooted into her own humanness. Her self is one with SELF. Jesus is another example who lived with His veil always lifted, perhaps as He was One in being with God the protective veil never needed to be present nor perhaps created.

On our journey to become one with the will of God there is no longer need for any protective coverings. As we move into fullness of being we are able to live more frequently with our veil lifted. As I lift my veil on those rare and yet magnificent occasions, I have experienced peace, joy, healing and an opening of my heart that desires to bring that peace, joy and healing to others. This blog does not even touch the surface of the depth of this possibility. As I lift my veil, I am awakened and yet I run, I soften and yet I tense, I seek and find in quiet moments until I let the chaos of life lower my veil again and again. I persist even as I run away. Is it I or Thy that is awakened, softened, finding and persisting?

Walking into communion with God

I continue to walk almost daily and find the joy of the walk increases with every step. My walk typically begins with my mind identifying all my faults, failings and frustrations, and then walking these off in my attempt to let go. Then my mind move to the requests to God for friends and families to experience health, employment, peace, for the world that needs healing and for the poor that need the basics for survival. From there my mind wanders to gratitude for the birds I hear singing, the flowers I see and the fragrance always present but all unnoticed as my mind was weighted heavily. In the presence of now, I find a peaceful revelation that all is well. As I surrender to the beauty that surrounds me, my mind begins to rest, and my body feels alive. The best part of my walk is usually towards the end as what began in my mind ends in my awareness of the walking and my heart opening in communion with God.

Clarity Brings Energy

Seems as though for the past many months, perhaps even the past few years, I have had a sense of confusion and uncertainty about my life's path. While visiting my parents this last weekend with my sister Bridget and brother Chris, we were all inspired to walk and exercise prompted by parents diligence to their workout regime of walking and riding their stationary bike. My parents are in their 80's and in better fitness and mental health than me and in their vibrancy I became committed to my own physical and mental well being. Bridget and I did a rigorous walk/jog on Friday and Saturday and this morning I did my own forty minute uphill walk. In the process of my walk, I found clarity on many levels and renewed energy for life. I suddenly knew that I would commit myself to my work more fully and even created goals around my sales, financial planning and ultimately began to crystallize an idea for developing a long term charitable giving plan. The walk was invigorating however I believe that the energy was created more from the clarity of having a vision for my life. I used to write and successfully achieve yearly goals and somewhere in the past few years I did not create them as clearly as I once did. The message for my life was clear this morning, with a vision, a plan and goals, life is more fulfilling and energetic. As my walk up the hill was steeper the journey became easier. It was as if with every step my mind found amazing clarity and my energy increased. This inspiration also creates essence and energy my scratchy note today.