White Space

I was in a meeting yesterday regarding data centers and for one particular client they had so space/capacity for more information or servers/systems to accommodate requirements for a merger. The people in the room talked of their need for white space. I found this concept interesting and then thought of my own need for white space especially at that moment of total saturation into a conversation. White space we need for ourselves. Even on Monday I was speaking briefly to my neighbor who was so busy running her children to and fro that she did not have white space. White space is generally a term used in journalism to remind us to not over clutter a newspaper but to allow white space so that articles can be easily read. White space in our context yesterday was for datacenters needing more space. White space for me is finding room in my mind so as to be. Finding white space lately has been difficult: no time for walking, meditating or the calming activities that bring the mind rest and allow for white space to emerge. As I write I am experience presence and focus and so for me my white space may be now. I exhale and inhale and the white space appears.

Grace of Jessica

My niece Jessica wed Jason her college sweetheart on October 11, 2008. It was beautiful wedding weekend including the rehearsal dinner hosted by Mary Ellen and Damien, her parents. What struck most deeply about the week amidst many beautiful and memorable moments was the grace of Jessica, the bride to be. Throughout the events including time at the nail salon with many of her aunts, cousins and grandma Mickey, Jessica's humility and love for all of us was evident. Here was a bride so filled with grace, she made her day abut us. She took pictures of us. Later that evening we were together for the fall themed rehearsal dinner with beautiful white lights, candles and warm cider and Jessica and Jason visited with their priest, their friends and all of us with a gentleness and kindness. Alas, the most evident presence of grace was when Jessica was ready to depart to the church for her wedding ceremony. Jessica and her sisters and mom had prepared themselves, all but getting into their dresses including the bride so the dresses were to be placed into the trunk of the limo. Jessica was in the limo first, sitting calmly, peacefully and truly filled with the grace of God, as her sisters were in flurry of scurry as they gathered all their dresses and required accouterments as her bridesmaids. Never did Jessica seem moved in worry on running late or concern in the least. Her calm presence of mind, body and spirit grounded the sisters and probably the mother. I recall this line from 1 Corinthian's 15:3, "Grace is an attitude of God towards mankind by which He provides a benefit, without consideration of merit." Jessica presented an attitude to all of us and her husband that reflected the love of God to all of us without consideration of merit.

1000 Unshed Tears

Our friend's daughter Ariana could not find her new book that she had purchased from Scholastic Book program. It was a new yoga book that had just arrived and had she already absorbed enough so as to show us all a Sun Salutation. Ariana cried tears when she could not find the book to show me. No one could understand such tears over her book, no one except maybe me. I know that her mom had survived breast cancer and was still bald from the chemo treatments she had just finished. No one thought of her little friend's mother who was also battling a very serious illness and was in the hospital even that evening and no one was thinking about her Uncle Mark who had been in a car accident some 10 years earlier causing him to remain in a vegetative stated in a local convalescent hospital. Ariana's tears may have been at some subconscious level the 100o unshed tears of the suffering so present in the life of her immediate family. Cry them out my dear Ariana; shedding tears is watering the heart as is rainfall for the earth.

Shannon

Many thoughts this week ran through my head on matters of the heart and yet the pull of capitalism and need to work kept me from my thinking so that I could get the task list done.

This morning, however, I was again pondering the matters of the week and know that I must write. I spent time with my friend Shannon last Saturday. Here is a young woman, mother of a brand new baby daughter and toddler son and married to a man who has been on permanent disability since shortly after they wed. Shannon's spirit is filled with love and commitment to her family and her friends. She lives life fully knowing what's most important. Shannon is in great shape, here just 6 weeks ago she had Sarah and while I am huffing and puffing up and down the emerald hills in Redwood City, Shannon holds her baby daughter in a front pack while I attempt the steep hill pushing her son, Shannon lovingly says and without loss of breath, "how about I push for a while, the stroller is heavy". I of course, say nothing as I am completely out of breath and just let her take over, now that is a good friend. Shannon your spirit is alive with what I imagine my God be like. While thinking of what I value most, my family and friends came to mind and a tinge of sudden concern that God was not "first" on my list. It was in that moment inspired but something greater than I it was apparent for that the only God I know is the God in Jesus, the God in Shannon and the God within all people. Perhaps this thinking is way beyond appropriate to my Christian faith and yet, as I see God in all people all people become so much more valuable to me. Humanity becomes divine when they push the stroller, care for the sick husband and invite the friend for a walk. Who do you say that God is?

Styx Concert

Last night Joe took me to the Styx concert at the Mountain Winery venue in Saratoga. Not ever knowing which bands sing which songs, it turned out I knew most of what Styx sang. I enjoyed the evening, not only because of the music, but also because of the fans and the way the musicians deeply appreciated their fans. It was this mutual admiration that created a great sense in me of the glory of mature people manifested in this unity of music. Four decades of knowing the music, memories of the time of the genesis of Styx and the richness of the musicians' obvious commitment to their gifts of music and song writing. I could not help but observing the lady next to us who clearly was overjoyed to be there and swayed with her arms in a majestic adoration of each musician and the 4 "buddies" in front of us who clearly were enjoying a time of their own air guitar and air drum playing dance moves, making me think that at one time in their high school days they probably did these same moves in their own bedrooms while listening to Styx on the radio or the record player. Styx continued to play beautifully and not too loudly or was that my ear plugs which Joe knew to bring for me as we had seats just 5 rows from the stage. Throughout the concert Styx threw their guitar picks to a very excited crowd and at the end threw more stuff, Frisbees, "green" bags and other little items with their Styx logo and the fans and Styx seemed to be fully satisfied with the evening. I too left with Joe deeply grateful to have participated in the musical reminiscence of a was probably for most of us a time of great freedom and joy before the responsibility of maturity had begun to stifle us from the simplicity of our high school and college days.

What to Wear

As I was hanging clean laundry, I pondered what to wear for work day today and my thought was put on love. In fact it was this thought of what to wear that inspired me to write a blog entry. As I begin to realize what is most important to me, prompted by a very challenging market place, with major financial institutions failing, capital markets rapidly declining and general worldly malaise due to continued war, US presidential candidates focusing on defending themselves and attacking each other versus describing the value they bring to the US, and other world suffering, we need more love.
Wearing love brings out our best, spurs support and inspiration and ultimately can bring the world back to a place of meaningful living. Where did we go wrong, perhaps we put on materialism that has led to continued greed and in the end revenge causing a world of hurt? Today I put on love and wear it in hopes of a new day and a bright tomorrow.

Becoming Connected

In the silence of this morning, with a candle lit, I did my meditation. I have not done this in some time. In this silence, there is a peace that is beautiful and wells up from within. This past weekend I went to Burning Man, which is an annual event where people fully express themselves through art, body painting, nudity and many other forms of self expression. While Burning Man was something I resisted more than I appreciated, I did enjoy seeing and praying in a beautiful temple honoring people who have died, a tented camp with homemade instruments that I played and that amplified this tremendous melodious vibration and two sculptures of a man and woman made of metal. In my reflection even now, I know that for each there own. As for me, my full expression of Self sits in silence in a grateful state of being as the universal cosmos brings to mind all that is good and all that is and realizing with all I am connected.